アンガーマネジメントが出来ない人は、感情が剥き出しとなり、収拾がつかなくなる。
良く言えば繊細で過敏な人、悪く言えば傲慢な人がいるが、中でも、アンガーマネジメントが全くできない人は、相手の立場や情況を無視し、刺すような強い言葉を放ち、相手に一方的に突っ込みを入れて責め立てることがある。
このような流れを作る人とのコミュニケーションは大変難しく、キレた人が空回りし始めると、収拾がつかなくなってしまう。こちらが、如何に言葉を優しく、理解しやすいように話し掛けても、全く聴く耳を持たぬことが多い。
以前、宿泊施設にクレームをつけた女性の話を聞いたことがある。現場にいた訳ではないが、言葉遣いやキャッチボールの流れを聞けば、かなり高圧的であり、宿泊施設側の謝罪の仕方に難癖つけたり、上司を引き摺り下ろしたり、その怒りは膨れるばかりで、完全逆ギレの状態が続き、周囲が困惑してしまったと言う。
キレやすい本人が、アンガーマネジメントについて理解しない限り、延々とその調子で周囲に苛立ちをぶつけてしまう。一端の大人であれば、相手にやや非があろうとも、誠意をもって対応する相手を見れば、それ以上に突っ込みを入れて掻き回すより、譲歩の道を選ぶが賢明だと判断するに違いない。
しかし、どんなに頭を下げても、その怒りが収まらぬ人もいるので、とても厄介なことになってしまう。ああ言えばこう言う、こう言えばああ言うの繰り返し。挙足取って、相手を粉砕することに快感を得るのか、辺り構わず重苦しい雰囲気を作るだけとなる。
キレやすい人が最近増えてきているけれども、「正論」によりキレるのと、「難癖」によりキレるのとは、大きく異なる。よって、キレやすい人の虫の居処が悪い場合は、怒り心頭となり、その場で即座に鎮火するどころか、どんどんと炎上して行く。
相手の顔が見えない電話の場合は、要注意となる。特に、重大なトラブルが生じた場合は、先ずは、少しは大人になって、互いに冷静に対応しなければならない。そこで深呼吸をして、双方が歩み寄るベクトルにて会話を交わすことをオススメしたい。
自戒を込めての話ではあるが、アンガーマネジメントは簡単に身につくものではない。日頃から常にそれを意識をして、腹が立っても６秒ルールを思い起こし、深呼吸してから平常心を取り戻すことが必要だ。少しでも冷静な自分自身を取り戻してから、やんわりと話し合いに臨むべきであろうかと。
People who cannot manage their anger have their emotions exposed and it becomes uncontrollable.
▼英訳（translated by ChatGPT）
Some people are sensitive and easily triggered, and some may even come across as arrogant. However, among them, there are people who have absolutely no anger management skills. They ignore the other person's position or situation and use strong words that can be piercing, blaming and criticizing the other party unilaterally.
Communicating with such people is very difficult, and when the angry person starts to spin out of control, the situation becomes unmanageable. Even if you speak kindly and try to make yourself understood, they often don't listen at all.
I once heard a story from a woman who complained to a lodging facility. Although I wasn't there on the scene, based on the tone of her words and the flow of the conversation, it was quite aggressive. She nitpicked the apology from the lodging facility and even dragged her superior down. Her anger continued to grow and she completely lost control, leaving those around her bewildered.
Unless the person who gets angry easily understands anger management, they will continue to vent their frustration around them endlessly. If you are an adult, even if the other person is somewhat at fault, it is wiser to choose the path of concession, rather than continuing to criticize and stir things up.
However, even if you bow your head, there are people whose anger will not subside, making it very difficult. It becomes a cycle of "if I say this, then they will say that," and either they get pleasure from crushing their opponent or they create a heavy atmosphere around them, regardless of their surroundings.
There has been an increase in people who get angry easily lately, but there is a big difference between getting angry due to "justifiable reasons" and getting angry over "nitpicking". Therefore, when dealing with people who get easily triggered, if the situation is not favorable, they will become enraged and rather than immediately putting out the fire, things will only escalate.
In the case of a phone call where you can't see the other person's face, you need to be careful. Especially if a major problem arises, both parties need to be a little more mature and calmly deal with the situation. It is recommended to take a deep breath and have a conversation that leads to a compromise.
This is a story of self-reflection, but anger management is not something that can be easily learned. It is necessary to be constantly aware of it, even in everyday life, to recall the 6-second rule when you feel angry and take deep breaths to regain your composure. It may be better to regain your calm self a little bit before entering a gentle discussion.
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