230711 出来なかった理由と選ばなかった理由

そうか
そういう事だったのか

分かってしまえば
ナンの事はナいのです

出来なかったのは
能力が
足りなかったからですか？
と訊かれれば

そうかも知れないねぇ
って答える

他の訊き方や言葉遣いなら
違う答えが出て来る

今とナっては
悲しみも悔いもなく
昔の事として
話せると想います

周りの恩人達の
苦労や苦悩が
僕を一層苦しめていて

でもその時は
ただ只管に
自分の不甲斐なさを
責めて逃げて
貪っていたなぁ

あの頃の人々には一生
頭が上がらないと想う
彼らは
受け入れて甘やかして
サンドバッグにだって
ナってくれたんだと思う

思い出したくないけど
避けて通れない事

この暑い初夏に今一度
思い出してみようと想う

230711 Reasons why we could not and did not choose

Okay.
So that's what this is all about.
Once you understand, it's nothing.

You couldn't do it because...
Because you didn't have the ability?
If you ask me.

I'd say, "Maybe.

If you ask it another way, or use different words.
I would have a different answer.

And now
No sorrow, no regrets
We can talk about it as if it happened a long time ago.
I think

The hardships and suffering of those around me
made me suffer even more.
But at that time, I only blamed myself
Blaming myself for my inadequacy
I was running away and devouring.

I will never be able to thank those people
I'll never be able to thank them

They accepted me, coddled me.
They even sandbagged me

I don't want to remember.
I don't want to remember, but it's inevitable
In this hot early summer

I'll try to remember

By DeepL