Day11 - Swimming in the Sea of Energy

Swimming in the Sea of Energy

Living with bipolar disorder, an enormous energy swirls within me. How I harness this energy is a crucial matter in my life. Ideally, I want to channel this power positively. Yet, if I let it be consumed by anger, I might harm those around me and lose social trust.

However, I pause to wonder: Even if I use this energy positively, is that truly good? No matter how vast, energy isn't infinite. If I keep expending it, won't my body eventually cry out?

In fact, there are times when, even though my hands can move, walking becomes arduous, and even sitting up is a struggle. That's when I realized the importance of controlling my energy. Time is finite; after using a certain amount today, I need to refrain and save some for tomorrow. The skill of not using energy is something I need to cultivate.

By incorporating mindfulness and meditation, I aim to calm my mind and regulate the flow of energy. Additionally, I feel it's vital to learn how to convert energy so it doesn't veer into negativity but transforms positively.

If I can skillfully manage this immense energy, it might be akin to possessing infinite power. Thinking this fills my heart with hope for the future.