Happy to face my body

It must have been almost 10 years ago that someone said to me, "I can't see your collarbone. It was before I took up biking as a hobby. I was working on a book about body-loosening exercises, and the supervising instructor said to me that comment. It was during the explanation of the movement to hold the collarbone and rotate the arm.
「鎖骨が、見えませんね」と言われたのは10年近く前だっただろうか。趣味の自転車を始める前のことだ。体をゆるめるエクササイズに関するムックを作る仕事をしていて、監修の先生に言われたのだ。鎖骨を押さえて腕を回すような動きの説明のときだ。

I have had a hunched back and rolled shoulders since I was young, and even though I know in my head that I should improve my posture, my muscles are not built properly, so even if I try to stretch them out, they immediately revert back to normal. In the first place, I am not sure what the correct posture is.
若い頃から猫背の巻き肩で、姿勢をよくしたほうがよいということは頭でわかっていても、なにせ筋肉ができていないものだから、ピンと伸ばてみたところですぐまた元に戻ってしまうし、そもそもどんな姿勢が正しい姿勢なのかがイマイチわからない。

Since I turned 35, my body has been getting rounder and rounder, and I feel sad every time I look in the mirror. And then the exercise instructor told me that he couldn't see my collarbone. How pathetic.
35歳を過ぎたころから、体はどんどん丸みを帯びてきて、鏡を見るたびに悲しい気持ちになってしまう。そして、エクササイズの先生には「鎖骨が見えない」と言われる始末。なんとも情けない。

Because my job is to sit at a desk and work on a computer, I had stiff shoulders and back pain all year round. When it got bad, I got massages and tried attending yoga classes once or three times a month, but the effects of the massages lasted only one day and the yoga classes two to three days. Yoga might have changed my body if I had been a little more dedicated, but I could not get into it that much.
机に向かってパソコンに向かうのが仕事だということもあり、肩こりや腰痛は年中だった。ひどくなるとマッサージを受けたり、月に１〜３回程度ヨガ教室にも通ってみたりしたのだが、マッサージの効果は1日、ヨガ教室は２〜3日程度だ。ヨガはもう少し熱心になれば体が変わったのかもしれないが、そこまでのめり込めなかった。

I bought a road bike when I was 41 years old. My husband had started road biking about a year earlier and had lost a lot of weight, so I thought...why not? Since we both started at about the same time, we both got more and more into it and looked forward to riding our road bikes every weekend. The distance we rode increased, and although I unfortunately did not lose any weight (the food and snacks after the ride were too delicious), my body was clearly changing, little by little.
ロードバイクを買ったのは、41歳のときだ。夫がその１年ほど前にロードバイクを始め、みるみるうちにやせていったので、これは…と思ったのだ。夫婦で近い時期に始めたこともあり、２人でどんどんのめり込んでいき、毎週末ロードバイクに乗るのが楽しみになった。乗る距離もどんどんのびていって、私は残念ながらやせることはなかったのだけれど（乗ったあとのごはんやおやつがおいしすぎて）、少しずつ、体は明らかに変わっていった。

My hips and calves, which had been going down, rose a little against gravity, and I was able to keep my back straight whether standing or sitting. My rolled shoulders have improved a bit, and I notice that I can now faintly see my collarbones. I can run up and down the stairs with no problem, and in the summer, when I was always too lazy to move, I can move with great energy. After the age of 40, that is.
これまで下がっていく一方だったお尻やふくらはぎは、重力に逆らってちょっぴり上がってくれたし、立っていても座っていても、背筋を伸ばしたままキープできるようになった。巻き肩も少し改善したし、気がつくとうっすらと鎖骨が見えるようになっていた。明らかに体力がついて、階段を駆け上がっても平気だし、いつもぐったりしていて苦手だった夏にも、元気に動けるようになった。40歳を過ぎてから、だ。

It gave me great confidence to know that my body can change even after I get older.
Even now, my hips and thighs are thick and firm, and I can only faintly see the thin line of my collarbone, and my body is full of complexes. But I love my body now.
年齢を重ねてからでも、体は変わってくれるのだということは、大きな自信になった。
今だって、お尻や太ももはがっちりと太く、鎖骨はうっすら細いラインが見える程度だし、コンプレックスいっぱいの体だ。だけど、そんな自分の体が、今は愛おしい。

I started Pilates this year. I have been riding my road bike for 7 or 8 years now, and although I thought I was doing okay because I was exercising, I realized that I was moving my muscles unevenly and that many of my muscles were weakening without knowing it.
今年に入ってから、ピラティスを始めた。ロードバイクを始めて７〜８経ち、運動しているから大丈夫だと思っていたのに、動かす場所に偏りがあって、知らず知らずのうちに弱っている筋肉も多いと気がついたからだ。

In fact, when I do Pilates, I often find myself. That I am not walking with proper use of the ball of the thumb, that my ribs are open, that my abdominal muscles are not strong enough.... When I feel pain in the knee area after riding a road bike and go to Pilates the next day, stretching to adjust hip motion may help.
実際、ピラティスは気づきが多い。足の親指の母指球のあたりをきちんと使えて歩けていないことや、肋骨が開ききっていて、腹筋に力が入っていないことや…。ロードバイクにのったあと膝のあたりに痛みを感じ、翌日にピラティスに行くと、股関節の動きを調整するストレッチで、痛みが改善することもある。

The other day, in a walking lesson, the instructor pointed out to me how stiff my spine was moving. I did some spine movement stretches, tightened my ribs, kept my back straight, and tried to lift only my upper chest.
先日は、歩き方のレッスンで、背骨の動きの硬さを指摘された。背骨を動かすストレッチをして、肋骨を締め、背中はまっすぐのまま、胸の上の方だけを持ち上げる。

Although I was aware of my own limitations, I corrected my posture as much as I could as instructed by the instructor, and when I looked at my reflection in the mirror on the wall, I could see my collarbone just a little bit more clearly than usual. I wondered if I could make my spine move a little better, my shoulder area would become more relaxed, and my collarbone would appear more clearly....
自分の限界を感じつつも、できる限り先生に言われる通りに姿勢を正し、壁一面に貼られた鏡に映る自分の姿を見ると、鎖骨がいつもよりほんの少しくっきりと見える。ほほう、もう少し背骨の動きがよくなれば、肩回りがすっきりし、鎖骨ももっとくっきり見えるようになるのか…。

When the instructor points out a quirk in the way I move, rather than being disappointed at my inadequacy, I am happy to face my body. Tomorrow I may be a little better than I am today. This is the best part of the exercise or playing sports I started as an adult.
先生に動き方のクセを指摘されると、自分のダメさにがっくりくるというよりは、自分の体と向き合うことのうれしさが先に立つ。明日の私は、今日よりも少しだけよくなるかもしれない。そう思えることが、大人になってから始めたスポーツの、なによりもの醍醐味だ。

photo by Tatsuhisa Yogi    text by Chie Ikumi