2010-2012 between あいだ
Yangjah
sound
Jerry Gordon @moontriangle
at Kema locks, Osaka
毛馬閘門、大阪
ーーー
「あいだ」
今日から秋が始まるという
久しぶりに寝苦しくない夜を越え
今朝外に一歩出てみると
たしかに空気が変わった
ふたつの原爆記念日のあいだの日
母は夕ごはんに
ネングッを作る
ゆでたイカにきゅうり、みょうがを刻み
コチュヂャンや味噌、
酢の入ったチョヂャンを混ぜ
水で伸ばす
氷やプッコチュを入れて
時折辛さに驚かされるプッコチュを入れるのは
祖母と父だけ
母とわたしは入れない
祖母はごちそうだと言いながら
食欲がないのか
だんだん嫌そうにスプーンを口に運ぶ
死にたい、もう生きていても仕方がないと
繰り返す日もあれば
何も分からへんのに日本でよー生きてきたと
戦争の記憶を熱く語りもする
そのはざまで
祖母は生き続ける
ひとつめの原爆記念日の朝
閘門跡にゆく
ふつうの水門かと思いきや
水位の違うふたつの川を
船が渡れるようにするための
門だと知る
水面が
上がったり
下がったり
異国で暮らし
そのあいだに生まれたいのちがつらなり
この地に根づいたようで
いつまでも浮草のようで
それでも最後に行き着くところは
同じだからと
とりあえず生きる
今ここで
流れて
流されてゆくあいだに
ふと立ち寄る門がある
ここにも
あそこにも
2010-08-07
ーーー
“Between Locks”
Today
is the beginning of autumn.
After the first night cool enough for sleep in a long time,
the air has definitely changed when stepping outside this morning.
On the day between two anniversaries of the atomic bombings
My mother cooked Naeng-guk this evening.
She cut boiled squid, cucumbers and Japanese ginger,
added Chojang with Kochujang, Miso, and vinegar
and made a cold soup with water,
adding ice and Putkocchu.
Only my grandma and dad put in the spicy Putkocchu,
not my mom and me.
Grandma looked happy with the treat
her poor appetite made her movement of spoon slow slow slow
I want to die soon, no meaning of living anymore
repeating day by day,
I’ve been living in this Japan for many years
still talking about her memory of war
she keeps on living her life between two gaps.
In the morning of the first day of the anniversary.
I went to the relic of a lock.
The two water gates were used for ships
to pass between two different levels of two rivers.
The surface of water
going up
and
falling
Living in this foreign country,
new lives keep on going
they seem to make their own roots here
they are still like floating grasses.
Being aware that destinations are similar,
I live
now and here
anyway.
when flowing
and being flown,
I happen to stop by locks.
here
and
there
7 Aug 2010