Diary 20240926-20241002

部屋探し第一章完、という感じ。というか、探し始めるのが早すぎた（契約が３ヶ月先とか待ってもらえない）…けどおかげで住む部屋や暮らしのイメージがよりクリアになりました。ふと気づくとrealisticにカチリとなりがちなので、欲望に正直に、楽になれよ、を思い出す。

20240926

Went to Kyoto to see A-chan. Always fun to see her. She says Nishinomiya or Rokko is maybe the place I find a good apartment (And Osaka is good, too). I was leaning towards my hometown, so I was like “… Okay”, but I started to check those area.. Anyways it seems like I can find a place this time so that’s good. Also I’m happy to be a person who she can talk freely out of her work.

20240927

F-san came and heard that his mother passed away at the beginning of this month. It’s always tough to feel someone’s sadness, but I felt kindness through his warm personality and appreciate that he shared it with us. Once again, I’m grateful for my life, where there are so many lovable, amazing people, healthy body and my only, unique soul, and I love them so much.

There was a moment where I’d become better at noticing my state of mind. Also there were some moments that I realized what I thought/hoped turned into reality.

20240929

I had a good day yesterday from working at the cafe to ESS there. It always feels time passes so fast.

Also, I’ve been noticing that having a silly chat with my family makes my feeling lighter at the moment, which is very good, and I remembered what was written in Banana Yoshimoto’s latest book.

Did a once-a-month clean up of my room in the morning and feel very good. Started to sell some books that I think I don’t need any more. One sold.

20240930

Another good day at the cafe. It was interesting that S-san brought up about “schema” that each one of us has. It’s not obvious like children’s language acquisition, but we all have different schema for verbal or non-verbal communication and it shapes how we see the world or our lives.

Still wavering among Kyoto city, Osaka city and Hanshin-kan area. Will start seeing rooms tomorrow. See how I feel at each place. I just know it’s gonna be all fine.

20241001

Even though the apartment didn’t feel exactly like “the one”, but it’s good for me to know my clearer desire.

Had a good lunch at a crape shop S-san recommended. Of course the food was good, but I felt the staff and the atmosphere were good too.

30-minute walk to A-san’s class was good chance to feel the atmosphere of the city.

I noticed that even though I don’t think it’s gonna be my permanent house, I felt the pressure like I’m deciding one. And I realized I can just live in Kyoto for a couple of years to experience what it feels like, and try another city. A-san told me “You can choose a way you feel it’s fun”, which lightened my feeling.

20241002

Went to see some apartments in Oji-Koen area. The area was nice and the guy of the real estate agent was way nicer than the one of Kyoto.

There wasn’t the one that I really want to live so much that I wouldn’t mind starting paying the rent earlier, but it helped me to sort out what I want for the apartment.

I thought the Hanshinkan area might be my place as A-chan mentioned, but maybe because of the unfamiliarity of the area, I still find Osaka city or Kyoto city feel at home more..

It’s a bit early for room hunting, so I’ll just go shops and cafes that I like for a while and start looking again around mid November.