Diary 20241031-20241106

わりかしアクティブな１週間。動きながら感じながらどうしたいか考える。とあるところに面白い物件があったので、借りる方向で動いているけど、何事もぎゅっとなってたら、ひとまず手を緩めて、今この瞬間がどれだけ平和か、調子いいことや会えて嬉しい人、楽しみなことがどれだけあるか感じるのだ。

20241031

I kinda got hyped up and had a quite packed, fun day.

Going to Coco coffee and Nowhere Hajinosato was the main thing on my list. I had a great time at both of them, and felt happy to be around those kind-hearted people.

A girl started to talk to me at the parking lot right after I got off of my car to go into Coco coffee. She was super friendly enough to talk to a stranger like me, and she even held my hands to play. Her borderless friendly attitude made my heart softened, which I think led the fulfilling day.

20241101

November! Still thinking about where’s the best place to live. Considering that I’ll be still working at the cafe, and its accessibility to everywhere, Yamato-Koriyama would be the best..? I met with a farmer in Tenri, from who I buy rice since last year and is very easy to talk to, and I was happy that I have a connection with such people. I think I’m happier when I visit place to place, saying hi to people in Nara and in the Kansai area, so that’s one thing to put in the center.

20241102

It’s not easy not to react or just to observe my reaction to things, but it feels nice when I notice or was able to observe myself, so I’ll enjoy practicing it.

Although it rained quite hard, it was good that we had some customers. Also it was good that we were able to discuss how we work next year. I think I still can rent a room and live by myself.

When I think about living myself, I hear a question; “Aren’t you happy where you are?” and my answer is “Yes, I am happy”, but thinking about living by myself is exciting, too, so that’s why I’m working on it.

20241103

Went out to Higashi-yoshino with S-san and tentons. It was super beautiful weather and a perfect autumn excursion. The air felt clearer and with more negative ions in the mountain-side village. Happy to go out with those kind, lovely people. We had a lot of good food and laugh.

20241104

Another sunny, beautiful working day at the cafe.

I’ve been learning how I take what happened or what someone said differently. It really depends on my mental or physical condition and how much I’m biased about the thing or the person I’m dealing with. It’s not like I can control it 100%, but knowing the fact helps me to some extent.

We tend to think “I feel this way because this happened”, but “what happens” could be different when you’re in different mood. Then, you might stop blaming external world, but try to focus on you internal world.

20241105

Went to see some apartments in Koriyama in the morning, had lunch at hen, dropped by Tohon and bought some bread at Apollo.  I think the one I went to see first was pretty good even though it wasn’t very bright.

In the afternoon, had a tea time at F-chan’s house with her and R-san. It’s really nice to have them in walking distance and casually gather for a couple of hours and chat.

20241106

At T-chan’s class, we acknowledged that we’ve grown up, or stepped up in our own way from what we used to be!

Also, it is nice to be able to separate my anxiety or negative voice from myself, if not always, and accept it as it is.

Glad I was able to try two cafes that I was interested in. Not sure if I ever come back, but they were nice.

I’m trying not to use too much money, but I ended up buying some takeouts at one of the cafes, which wasn’t in my plan.. It’s good to keep track of money, but suppressing it too much isn’t good, too. In the end, what’s important is to choose to be happier or relieved or lighter.