#28 当たり前という奇跡-10

２００３．１２．１７(水)　
　今日はばあちゃんとじいちゃんが見舞いに来てくれた．１時間くらい居てくれただろうか．友達や親にはない何かがあって，気づくとありのままの本当の素の感情になり，普段にない内容を語らせてくれる．きっとこういうのがそれぞれの家族の役割であって，だからこそ一人として家族は台変えができないんだろうなと感じた．改めて家族がいることに感謝です．２人に退院の話が出ていることを告げると，２人はとても喜んでくれた．その姿を見て自分も嬉しくなった．今年，自分は病気して，家族にはいっぱい心配かけたし，お世話になった．当然，じいちゃんにもばあちゃんにも．退院したら，ちゃんとその想いを行動で伝えようと思う．じいちゃん，ばあちゃん，ありがとう．
 
２００３．１２．１８(木)
　今日は地元の親友である重來が見舞いに来てくれた．彼はサッカー強豪校の○○高校で副キャプテンをしている．非常に責任感の強い，ホリの深い男にモテるやつなのだ．彼が来てくれたのは夜だった．東京から練習帰りに寄ってくれた．寄ってくれたと言っても，帰るべき重來の家は病院と正反対．こういう行動が本当に嬉しい．こういう仲間に出会えたのが幸せです．ありがとう．
　そして今日，ある卒業式が行われた．中心静脈カテーテルの卒業式だ．彼はずっと自分の右鎖骨下静脈にいてくれて，大事な点滴や骨髄液を血管内に流してくれた．彼がいなければ自分は助かっていないだろう．彼が入ってくるときは，かなりの痛みを引き連れてやってくるのだが，出て行くときには何も言わずに出て行ってしまった．なんとも言えない．ただこうやって着実に自分の環境は変わって行くんだなと感じた．
 
２００３．１２．１９(金)
　今日は高校の仲間３人が見舞いに来てくれた．来てくれたと言っても，ずっと彼らはゲームをしていた．そんな時だった．突然，野球部のトレーナーさんが来てくれた．３人のうち１人は野球部仲間だったから，そいつは心底びっくりしたに違いない．トレーナーが来てくれてからのオドオド感は笑えた．話では，明日から我が野球部は地獄の館山合宿が始まるとのこと．自分たち２年生にとっては最後の合宿になる．この合宿になんとか間に合えばと思ったがそれは叶わなかった．仮退院でもできれば良いのだが．許可が降りるように，しっかりと体調管理していきます．
 
２００３．１２．２０(土)
　気づけばもう２０日．移植直後は時間の進む感覚が本当に遅く感じていたけど，個室を出た後はあっという間に時間が過ぎて行く．体調も良いから，余計に早く感じるのかもしれない．また，同室にいるHさんの体調も良さそうだ．おかげさまでずっと自分の相手をしてくれている．年齢はだいぶ離れているけど，病院では兄貴のような存在で，とてもお世話になっている．だからというのもあるけど，やっぱりこの病気をした人間からすると，早く移植して完治してもらいたい．体調が良い時は本当に嬉しいし，安心する．だから頑張ってくださいね，Hさん．
　そして今日は３人の方が見舞いに来てくれた．じいちゃんとじいちゃんの長女夫婦だ．つまり叔父と叔母だ．時間的にはわずかだったけど，わざわざ来てくれたことが本当にありがたい．時期も時期だけど，今日は雪が降るらしい．病室から見る外の風景は，風が強く，空が濁っていて，自分の体調とは真逆のような天候だ．全く嫌な予感とかはしないけど，もうこんな季節なんだなと実感した．

 December 17, 2003 (Wednesday)　
Grandma and Grandpa came to visit me today, and stayed for about an hour. They have something that friends and parents don't have, and they let me talk about things that I don't usually talk about. I felt that this is the role of each family member, and that this is why no one family member can be changed.
Once again, I am thankful that I have a family.
When I told them that I was going to discharge them, they were very happy. Seeing that made me happy, too. This year, I was ill, and my family worried a lot about me and took care of me. Naturally, my grandfather and grandmother were also involved. When I get out of the hospital, I'll act to show them how I feel.
Thank you, Grandpa and Grandma.

December 18, 2003 (Thursday)　
Today, my good friend Shigeki came to visit me. He is the vice-captain of XX high school, a strong soccer team. He has a very strong sense of responsibility and is popular among men with a deep sense of honor. He came to see me at night. He came from Tokyo on his way home from practice. He dropped by on his way back from practice in Tokyo, but his house is opposite to the hospital.
I am very happy to see him.
I am happy to have met such a friend.
Thank you very much.
Today, a graduation ceremony was held. It was a graduation ceremony of central venous catheterization. He has been in my right subclavian vein all the time, and he has been pumping important intravenous infusions and bone marrow fluid into my veins. I would not have survived without him. When he came in, he came in with a lot of pain, but when he left, he left without saying a word. It's hard to say. I just felt that my environment was steadily changing in this way.

December 19, 2003 (Friday)　
Three of my high school friends came to visit me today. Although they came to see me, they were playing a game the whole time. Then, suddenly, the trainer of the baseball team came. One of them was a member of the baseball team, so he must have been really surprised. It was funny to see how nervous they were after the trainer arrived. The baseball team will start the hellish Tateyama training camp tomorrow. It will be the last training camp for the second-year players. I had hoped to make it to this camp, but it didn't happen. I hope I can be discharged from the hospital on a temporary basis. I will take good care of myself so that I will be allowed to leave the hospital.

December 20, 2003 (Saturday)　
It has already been 20 days since I noticed. Immediately after the transplant, time seemed to move very slowly, but after I got out of the private room, the time passed very quickly. I am in good physical condition, so maybe it feels even faster.
Also, Mr. H in the same room seems to be in good physical condition. Thanks to him, I have been able to keep myself company for a long time. Although our ages are far apart, he is like a big brother to me at the hospital, and I am very much indebted to him. I know that's part of the reason, but as someone who has had this disease, I want to see him transplanted and completely cured as soon as possible. I am really happy and relieved when I feel well. So I wish you all the best, Mr. H.　
Three people came to visit me today. My grandfather and his eldest daughter and her husband. In other words, my uncle and aunt. I'm really grateful that they came all the way, even though it was only for a short time.
It's supposed to snow today. The view from my room is windy and the sky is murky, the opposite of what I'm used to. I don't have a bad feeling at all, but I realize that it's already that time of year.