No other strong than my love

(This is the English-translated version of my short novel, "Saikyo Kareshi". The original, Japanese version is written in here)

Chapter1: My gentle Boyfriend is by My Side

My boyfriend is the strongest man in the world.
There are too many specifics to tell you how strong he is. I'm not proud of it, but that's how strong my boyfriend is.

For example, when I go out on the town and get picked on, my boyfriend will fight back as if he is about to grab the guy and fight him off. Another time, I was on a date with my boyfriend on a sidewalk by the ocean. The unknown man almost hit me, but my boyfriend fought him back by beating that man to a pulp.

There are so many other stories that I can't tell them all.
My female friends often tell me that I, Tsumina, am lying about such things, but I am not. It's all true.
My boyfriend always protects me and keeps me safe from all those bad people.
How lucky I am!
There is no boyfriend like him anywhere in the world.

Today, I was thinking about this as I went on a date with my boyfriend, Torao.

Since it was the weekend, I went straight home from work to meet him.
Torao had arrived earlier than the meeting time. He was waiting for me by the famous statue near the station. He was waiting for me there.
I was embarrassed, but I walked beside him.

Just before the sunset. It was our date, just the two of us strolling along the sunset-tinted streets. When I was next to Torao, I felt strangely at ease and forgot all the things I didn't want to do.

"What do you want to eat today?"
Torao asked in a soft voice. I thought for a moment and then smiled innocently.

"The steakhouse! The last time we went there together, it was really good. I want to go there again."

"Good. Let's stop by the steakhouse today, then."
Torao said happily, and I felt my heart pounding in my chest. The time I spent with him made me happier than anything else. I couldn't help but wish that our daily life would continue like this for a long time.

I knew that I could never leave Torao's side. A sweet, ticklish feeling occupied my heart.
I moved so close to him that my shoulders almost collided with his. I wanted to spend more time with him, even just a few moments with his arms around me. That's what I thought.

My precious time with him was suddenly broken by a scream.

"Watch out!"
When I turned my head toward the voice, I saw a car speeding toward me, running into the sidewalk.
I was too scared to move.
Before I could react, my body froze, as if frozen in place. I stood there with my eyes wide open, staring at the approaching danger.

At that moment, a strong force pulled me to my feet. The next thing I knew, I was being held in Torao's arms.
"Are you okay?"
Torao's voice was trembling. I was so surprised and scared that I couldn't say anything, all I could do was nod my head. A car stopped nearby, causing a commotion in the area, but our world remained still.
"I can't thank you enough,” I said. "If it weren't for Torao, I'd be ......"
"Don't say that."
He hugs me even tighter, with his strong, thick chest.
I know that he always works out at the gym to maintain this body.
I remember he also said that early morning jogging is a must for him.
Many people don't know about his efforts that he makes without being noticed.
I know him because I am his girlfriend.
Are you jealous? I feel like saying so.

When I tell my friends what I know about Torao, they say it's impossible, that I'm lying and making things up again, but I don't mind.
The problem is that his existence is as close to fiction as possible.
It's no wonder anyone other than me can't believe him in real.

The strength of Torao's arms made me feel the strength of his feelings. I am protected. As long as he is by my side, I am safe.
I felt a sense of relief in Torao's eyes.
My boyfriend is, after all, the strongest. He is a strong hero, like something out of a comic book or an anime, and his kindness is also endorsed.

On the way home, I unconsciously grabbed Torao's sleeve. The fear I had felt when the car came toward me had not yet disappeared, and I would have felt uneasy if I had not felt his warmth.
"That was scared," he said, "but I'm here for you."
Torao whispered in a gentle voice and patted my head lightly. That gesture made my heart warm again. With him, I could overcome any difficulty. I never doubted that.
"Let's go, then."
Torao said and patted my arm.
I nodded lightly and started walking alongside him.

I believe the plan was to have dinner at a steakhouse tonight. And that restaurant uses thick, foreign meat that tastes so good you'll fall in love with it.
The sauce they put on the steaks is also very elaborate, and the thick seasoning with onion paste is irresistible. The hot soup that comes with the daily special and the bread with a mellow aroma. When I eat the bread with butter, I am so glad I came here.
I followed Torao, with a light smile on my face.

The next day. After work, I stretched my arms lightly.
My eyes were tired, and my shoulders were stiff from staring at my desk for so long.
I had heard somewhere that in the West, emotions are believed to be controlled by the brain, while in the East—according to Chinese medicine—the midsection, or belly, is considered the center of emotional control.

If you ask me, that idea makes a lot of sense. Besides, if work ended at noon, it would mean that people could leave work while their emotions were at their peak, at least in the Eastern sense.
In Japan, however, not everyone can finish work and have dinner right away. Most people commute by train or car, making that difficult. In the West, it may be possible to simply discipline oneself and go straight home, but in Japan, it feels almost inconceivable.

At least for me, when I finish work, I'm usually starving, full of complaints, exhausted, and desperate for a bath.
Suddenly, my mind drifted back to yesterday—the moment when a car came speeding toward me.
But when I remembered that Torao had been there to protect me, a smile naturally formed on my lips.
"With Torao by my side, I'll be okay..."
I muttered to myself as I stood in front of my locker at work, preparing to change. Since my job required a uniform, I always had to switch back into my personal clothes before heading home.

After leaving the office, I walked to the station. Everything around me was the same as usual—the same scenery, the same routine.
And yet, deep in my chest, I felt a faint sense of discomfort.
As I approached the station, I spotted my friend Namie.
Perhaps because she worked at an apparel company, she looked more stylish than usual.
Her hair was a bright color, and her nails were bold and flashy.
She wore a choker and several cute rings—accessories that no one in a typical corporate job would dare to wear.
The moment she saw me, she hurried over.
"Tsumina, are you okay? I heard you almost got hurt at that place yesterday!"
"What? I'm fine. Really, I’m fine. I have the strongest man, Torao. He protected me, so I didn’t get hurt at all."
I answered with a smile, but Namie gave me a strange look.
"Torao-kun? But that place is dangerous—accidents happen there all the time. I heard that at certain times of the day, it’s hard to see the curves in the road, even with the mirrors. I’m really glad you weren’t hurt! Someone even said they saw Torao-kun there before…"
"What...?"

For a moment, I was stunned.
Was there something about him I didn’t know?
No, that couldn’t be. There was no way Namie knew more about Torao than I did.
If that were true, I would never forgive her.
I had always thought that love triangles and friends stealing boyfriends were just things that happened in magazines or novels. But now, the thought crept into my mind.
If she was trying to take Torao away from me, I would never forgive her.
A burning jealousy flared up inside me, threatening to consume my heart.
It couldn’t be true.
Torao would never go there on his own—not unless we were on a date.
I forced a smile, but my unease was growing.
"But you know, there’s someone who says they really saw Torao there…" Namie continued.
Everything Namie was saying was a lie.
I decided I didn’t need to listen to her anymore.
She was just jealous of my boyfriend—my strong, perfect Torao.
Why couldn’t she just admit it?
With one hand, I casually brushed my long hair over my shoulder.
"Well, I’m in a bit of a hurry. I have to go, so let’s talk later."
Her attitude was beyond rude, and secretly, I was furious at her for what she had said.
But with all the composure of an adult, I didn’t let my anger show. Not even for a second.
Without another word, I quickly walked away.

While I was on my way to the meeting place with Torao, I couldn't concentrate. Every time I thought of him, the earlier incident and Namie's words echoed in my mind.
— I was sure that Torao had nothing to do with Namie. I can trust him, can't I?
I asked myself over and over again, but no answer came.
I took the train from the station to our meeting place. As usual, Torao was waiting for me with a kind smile, waving.
"Hi, Tsumina."
"Hi. Tsumina-chan just got here," I said mischievously.
Torao smiled at me.

"Listen, Torao. I met Namie a while ago. She told me that someone had seen you at the place where the car was headed yesterday..."
Torao's expression clouded over for a moment but soon returned to normal.
"Oh. What Namie says is true. But I wasn't there to meet anyone. That's the truth," he said.
He smiled, but for just a moment, I caught a glimpse of sadness in his eyes.
I turned to him, trying to shake off the uneasiness growing in my heart.
"That's right... Namie said that. I'm really sorry I doubted you, even a little bit. I believe you," I said.
After that, the two of us wandered around town as usual. We stopped by my favorite café, where I ordered a drink and a light meal.
I remembered the time we ordered a couples' melon soda there, the one with two heart-shaped straws. We had sipped from it together, embarrassed by the overly sweet presentation.
I had taken pictures, but every time I did, Torao would ask me not to show them to him—he was too embarrassed.
Resting my elbows on the café table, I placed my chin in my hands and smiled to myself.
There were so many memories like this with Torao.
Each and every one of them was irresistibly precious.
After talking for a while, we paid the bill and left. Torao and I walked toward the station.
Our date was almost over.
Soon, I would have to go home and face another boring day of work. I wished, just for a moment, that my time with Torao could last forever.
If I said such a thing, would I have to pray to a god? No, wait—I'm in Eastern Japan, where God and time aren't necessarily connected in the same way like Western. But then, why do people in the West talk about those time machines and time loops?
From my perspective in the East, it seems contradictory. But since we are human, it would be strange for our ways of thinking to be perfectly consistent.
It is only natural for people to have different perspectives.

I thought about this as I looked at Torao.
For some reason, he was staring at the pavement across the street.
We were walking along a sidewalk lined with white fences, the road beside us busy with cars as people headed home.
I followed his gaze.
It was near the steakhouse we had visited yesterday.

There, on the pavement by the pedestrian crossing, several bouquets of flowers had been placed.
Had someone passed away?
Torao was silent.
"Torao...?"
"Let's go, Tsumina," he murmured.
He touched my shoulder gently. His hand was warm, but his expression was tinged with sadness.
Unease spread through my heart, like a drop of blue ink dissolving in a glass of clear water.
What is it? Tell me honestly, Torao.
Every time he hides something from me, my heart trembles.
I looked across the street. There was no one around. A sign nearby called for witnesses to an accident.
Does Torao know something?
Is he hiding something?
Could it be that he knows about the incident— or that he was involved in it?

The thought sent a shock through me. I was sure my distress was visible on my face.
No, that can’t be it... right?
Torao walked ahead, his steps slow, as if carrying a heavy weight.
I stood still and could do nothing but watch him as he moved away.

Chapter2: Shaken Memories

Since then, my relationship with Torao has been perfect. If it weren't for work, I wouldn’t leave his side even for a moment. With that in mind, I worked quickly and efficiently, eager to finish my tasks.
Today, once again, I completed my work at a fast pace and headed to the meeting place to see Torao. Unlike last time, he arrived earlier than usual.
As always, we went on a date, strolling around the town near the station.
As we walked side by side along the pavement, I suddenly remembered something—there was a steakhouse nearby that Torao and I had visited together. I glanced around, my eyes settling in a certain direction.
A sign caught my attention.
It was asking for eyewitness testimonies.
That was it. That was the scene of the car accident.
Even though I was with Torao, I couldn't stop myself from looking toward the place where the accident had happened.
The bouquets of flowers were vibrant, their colors striking against the pavement.
I lowered my gaze gently.
—Someone had died here. The thought made my heart ache terribly.
A deep sadness washed over me.

At the same time, I had the strange sensation that I had forgotten something—something important. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't recall what it was…

"Tsumina?"

I was so caught up in the unease of forgetting something that I barely registered Torao's voice. I shook my head silently and muttered, "No, it's nothing."
"I'm sure that's not true," Torao said.
He reached out and lightly patted my head.
"I know you were about to remember. I understand," he added.
Torao? What is he talking about?
"What do you mean? Torao, tell me the truth," I pressed.
"I can't. I can't tell you anything."
His voice was calm, but there was something in his eyes—something kind, yet distant.
"Torao..."
I stepped closer, my voice barely above a whisper.
"I'm forgetting something, aren't I? Do you remember what it is, Torao?"
He looked momentarily startled but quickly regained his usual gentle demeanor.
"What are you talking about, Tsumina? Don't worry. There's nothing to be concerned about. You don't need to think about it."
But his words didn’t sit right with me.
"Why? I'm sure you're hiding something from me. Something I don’t know. Why won't you just tell me?"
Torao averted his gaze.
A sharp pain shot through my heart, as if something had pierced it.
Why? Why won't he tell me?
Still looking away, he muttered, "Let's get away from here."
I bit my lip, struggling to hold back the overwhelming emotions rising within me. If I let them spill out, I knew I would say things I might regret.

I swallowed my words.
I fought back the tears.
Without another word, Torao turned on his heel and walked toward the station.
Impatience. Anger. Suspicion. Jealousy. A foggy memory just out of reach.

A single tear rolled down my cheek.
Even so, I couldn't bring myself to say a single word to accuse Torao.

Chapter3: Hidden Truth

Based on what I had gathered, I arranged to meet Torao the next day.
He didn’t refuse. Instead, he simply agreed, saying he had no other plans.
As usual, we planned to meet at the station, where we often walked around town together. I waited for him at the ticket gate.
But today, Torao was different.
He arrived looking out of breath, as if he had run all the way here.
We went to a café and sat across from each other.
Torao looked exhausted. His face was pale, and his eyes held the weariness of someone who hadn’t slept well the night before.

I took a breath and began.
"You know, Torao," I said.
"Yesterday, I met with Namie. I met with her because I felt like you had been hiding something from me lately. But she told me that you are—"
"Tsumina."
Before I could finish, Torao interrupted me.
"Can we stop this now? It's better if you don’t know."
"Why? What do you mean?" I asked, my voice trembling.
Torao looked away.
His eyes, filled with deep anguish, avoided mine.
Something stirred inside me—a feeling I couldn't name.
I didn't understand.
I didn't understand what he really wanted to say.
"I can't tell you," he said softly.
"Because if I do... you'll be hurt."
After a long and painful struggle, he finally said that, as if forcing himself to say.
I said to him, "I don't really mind. I want to know what you saw. I don't want to see you always hiding something, always carrying painful feelings alone. I want to know what you saw."
Torao lowered his head, leaned on his elbows, and clasped his hands together.
He seemed lost in thought.
He was deciding what to tell me.
"I couldn't protect you," he finally said.
"...What?" I gasped.
I couldn't hide my shock at Torao's sudden words.
He had always protected me. He even trained himself to be strong enough to do so.
But he couldn't protect me?

"I couldn't protect Tsumina that day. That's why I shouldn't be here. I'm here to atone for my sins, but if that's the case, then you must stay away from me. You mustn't be around me all the time."
I covered my mouth with my hands, trying to process his words. But I couldn't.

"What do you mean you couldn't protect me, Torao? What the hell happened that day?"
"It was..." he hesitated.
Torao rubbed his hands together several times, as if trying to steady himself. Then, finally, he looked at me with determination in his eyes.

"That day, I was walking with Tsumina. We were on our way home from the steakhouse when my phone rang. It was my boss, calling about work for the next day. It was going to be a long conversation, so I left you and headed home alone. But after that..."
For some reason, I wanted to cover my ears. I didn't know why—I just felt an overwhelming urge to do so.

He continued, "I don’t know what happened after that. I was on the phone, walking toward the station alone. Maybe I heard the sharp screech of braking tires. But I didn’t notice anything else, lost in my conversation. Unaware of what was happening, I went straight home. The next day, I found out that Tsumina had died in a car accident."

Lies.
I couldn't believe Torao's words.
This had to be some kind of cruel joke. Or maybe he was trying to shock me with some elaborate trick.
Lies. Lies. Lies.
I was speechless, frozen in silence.
If I believed what Torao was saying... did that mean I was already dead? That I was a ghost?
No. No way. That was impossible. A lie, a lie, a lie!

"It's not a lie. It's all true, Tsumina," he said softly.
But I couldn't accept it.
Had my habit of making up stories rubbed off on him? Was he just playing along with one of my fabrications?
"Let's make everything clear, Tsumina. So that we can move forward."
My mind was spinning. Torao, stop. Just stop. Don’t say any more. Please.
"I know you don't believe me. But I want to stop tormenting you," he said.
I’m not a ghost. I’m not.
Through my tear-blurred vision, I saw Torao shifting his feet under the table.
I was sitting across from him, yet suddenly, I felt disoriented.
And then—I noticed it.
There was no shadow.
No shadow where mine should have been, cast by the light.
I looked down, but I couldn’t see myself sitting there.
No. No. This can’t be real. The truth is...
"You don’t have to suffer anymore, Tsumina. Just be yourself. That’s all you need to do."

Torao placed a hand on my shoulder.
It was warm.
So warm. Human warmth. His palm was so hot, filled with emotions I could feel.
He spoke, his voice trembling. "I know I've said things that hurt you. And there are things you wanted to tell me, too. If you can still forgive me... then let me say what’s in my heart."
Tears streamed down Torao’s face, overflowing like a broken dam.
"I don’t want you to forget me. So, I won’t forget you either. Before you disappear, I want you to tell me you won’t forget me ever. Even if it’s just once. Even if it’s just one word."
Tears ran down my cheeks uncontrollably. I wiped them away, over and over, but they kept coming.
Even so, I had to say it.
The happy days I spent with Torao. The days we laughed together.
Those days, I...
"I will never forget you, Torao."
I put my heart and soul into those words, letting him know how important he was to me.
I love him. I love him. I love him. I am his best girlfriend, his unforgettable girlfriend, his beloved girlfriend.

I wiped my tears again and again.
He wiped his, too. Then, perhaps to hide his emotions, he brought me to the chasier, quickly paid the bill for me and walked out of the café with me.

Torao...I will always, always remember Torao.
I will watch over him from afar.
Yes. That’s what I’ll do.
That thought settled deep inside me, as if it had always been there, waiting to be acknowledged.
I turned to Torao, my voice barely above a whisper, and told him I had made up my mind.
I had decided.

This time, instead of asking him to protect me...
I would protect him.
A proof of my love.
Forever. Forever.
I love him.
From far, far away.
From a place beyond Torao’s reach.

The doorbell of the café rang behind Torao.
A mother and her son stepped out of the café and glanced at Torao.
They looked at him with obviously suspicious expressions and hurried past him.
The boy, held back by his mother, couldn't stay silent any longer and finally shouted:
"Hey, Mom! What does that man have in his hand?"
The boy, who looked about five or six years old, pointed directly at Torao.
The mother stopped in her tracks, her eyes widening in surprise. She glanced at Torao’s face nervously, then quickly turned back to her son, gripping his hand tighter. Speaking in a hushed voice so Torao wouldn’t hear, she whispered:
"Stop saying things like that. We need to go."
Practically dragging her son, the mother hurried away toward the train station.
The boy, still curious, kept looking back at Torao several times.
Unable to resist, he raised his voice again.
"What? What does 'I-ei' mean in Japanese? You mean that big picture of a woman’s face the man is holding?"
The mother didn’t respond and simply walked away, pulling him along.

Torao sighed in relief as the place around him finally grew quiet again.
With one hand, he gently and lovingly stroked the thin, neatly framed portrait.
The surface was smooth and cool beneath his fingertips.
The photo captured Tsumina’s smile from a certain day—her beauty frozen in time, unchanged, unfading.
People laughed at him for carrying it around. Some mocked him. Others said cruel things.
There were even times when someone tried to snatch the photo from him.
But Torao fought back by beating that man to a pulp.
No matter what anyone said, he wanted to stay by her side.
He wanted to be watched over by her smile.
Because she was the only one he would ever love.
Torao smiled softly and stroked the photo one more time.
Then, in a gentle whisper, he murmured:
"I love you."

End