散文集：記憶達「夕暮れ」

ちょっとした思い出や感情をたらたらと書いてみます。
I would like to casually spree some memories and feeling of mine here.  

記憶「夕暮れ」　

ふとした時に、高校の夕暮れを思い出したりする。

青い紫の校舎を自転車置き場に体育館から続く道を歩いて見上げると、ボロい校舎も少しはマシに心に映る。友達がいようといまいと、夕暮れはきれいで、ずっと見ていたかった。秋に差し掛かる頃、部活の終わる時間(帰らなくてはならない時間。六時半？) と夕暮れがマッチする。野球部とハンド部の校庭の砂を蹴る音と、終わりかけた夏の風が好きで、高3のときこれを感じるのは最後かと思ったとき中3を思い出した。
校舎の外の西の畑の向こうに病院がなければ相当壮大な風景なのにと何度も話した。
一目惚れしていた軽音部の子が自転車置き場に来るかもしれないと歩を遅めていた。一度くらいしか驚くべきことに彼女は追いつかなかった。避けているとしか思えない…苦笑

友達と別れた後は、日没の後だったから、これまた好きだった近所の子が帰って来るかもとペダルを漕いだ。夕暮の木漏れ日の森は北欧の映画のシーンを想像させた。
友達以外の誰かと、その空間を分かち合いたかった。
さみしさを感じたとき、胸に心を今思えば感じていたのかもしれない。夏に一人で格技場にいったときか南中によったときみたいで、風と空が静かできれいだった。

その切ない風景を取り戻すことはできないと思い出すんだろうなと思っていたことを、思い出す。 

高校を卒業して三ヶ月後くらいに、ニュージーランドに来て書きました。

Memory: Sunset
Sometimes, I think of sunset time in my high school.
If I looked up the deep purple school buildings from the bicycle parking lot, that old broken architecture looked kind of better. With or without friends, the sunset was pretty and I just wanted to keep looking at it. Just around the beginning of autumn, after my kendo club team practice (around 6:30 PM? When the school was about to close) finished around sunset time. I like the sound of the baseball team and handball team kicking sands on the ground, and the wind of summer that was about to shift to autumn. 

When I was in the final year of high school, I felt like it was my last time to feel this. Then, I recalled my last days in junior high school.

The hospital next to the school was blocking the sunset view with farms and mountains.
I slowed my walking speed hoping that a girl with who I fell in love, at first sight, would be passed by me. She caught me up only once. She must be avoiding me...haha
After I separated from my friends, I speeded up my bike to see another girl, maybe I could see another girl who I loved so much in my neighborhood. 

The woods in the sunset made me imagine the movie scene in Scandinavian woods.
I wanted to share that moment with someone, not with my friends.
When I felt lonely, maybe that was when I located that feeling in my chest.
It was like a summer day I visited my old dojo in junior high school by myself. The wind and sky were quiet and beautiful.

 
I remember that I told myself that I cannot take that scenery back.

I wrote this when I just arrived in New Zealand about 3 months after graduation from high school.