2024/03/24 English

BGM: Brook Benton - Rainy Night in Georgia

It was a day off. This morning, at AEON I read Viorica Marian's book "The Power of Language" at last. Reading this, I've thought about why I am learning English. To try to become fluent means for me to grip/grasp this world from another aspect I guess. For example, if I had stayed in the Japanese language only, I couldn't find out how the outer world has been now. Indeed, we can use machine translators to learn foreign sources about these pieces of news. But, for me reading various sources in English directly affords a certain pleasure (I can't describe/explain what it can be.)

Looking/gazing at this world from another, different aspect - I have always been that kind of person. I have even tried to pretend to those neurotypical people's manners and follow their tastes, but in the end, I have had to show how strange I have been. It has been one of the most troublesome things for me to live this life - Therefore, maybe, I have been interested in various philosophical, profound ideas as Nietzsche and Wittgenstein (especially, from Wittgenstein's works I have learned how enigmatic ou communication must have been through the history.)

After that, I went to the library to borrow Haruki Murakami's early works. After having lunch and a nap time, I read his "Hear The Wind Sing" and "Pinball, 1973", and have had a primal, childlike question - what is the main theme of these novels? At least, for me, these early novels have shown how the narrator tried to find his "original" way of narration to start his own story. In my opinion, it means that he tried to find out his own language to narrate. How crisply he can tell his story? Although this can be a controversial topic, his style has been really easy (I can even use the word "been opened") to understand and accept.

Although you would laugh at this opinion because it could sound so strange, I accept his attitude as a trial to "commit" or "access" the actual outer world to keep in communication with others. Oh, I can remember the first time I read Haruki's work - in a way, I even "experienced" a new way of accessing this world with a new language, which means I've been installed a new measure of looking/gazing at this world.