live, laugh, love

in this chapter i will be writing about my life, laughter, and love❤️
I have none of those in my life. No laughter, no love, no life. its tought out here so i gotta be tough. Tough like a big rock near ocean or a lake, im not sure but imagine a big rock. Not a small stone. 
I am the big rock, it wont crack (buttcrack) however if you train/dicipline cutting with a katana sword, you can cut in the middle, A big crack from the middle. 
Coming back to the main topic of living, laughing and loving ,lets start with living. 
Living for me is a hard job. Im not really suited for living as a human being. I get tired a lot after a day. i get tired after talking,  iget tired waking up, well it could just be my depression :D anywaysssssss
Next, laughing. I laugh but not too much, i think i can make people laugh which is great if youre a monkey. im not a monkey im a rock. 
I wanna laugh in class, with a big smile on my face. I cant really laugh in class because that would be weird. 
Lastly, loving. hmmmm, loving??? platonically? yes! romantically? NO.
Im a person that doesnt really want to have romance in my life, ive definitely dreamed about it but now that im thinking of it, I just liked the idea of it. I havent truly loved someone in a romantic way in my life. and thats okay. 

my whole time ive struggled with my sexuality, for the longest time i hough i was straight, do i like man? woman? i like no one, i hate romance. I hate the idea that people are only seeking romance because the society is pressuring people to have romance.
Well it became kinda personal and serious, so im going back to being unserious (Im always serious).
So what do i wanna do in the future is, live and laugh. HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
life is shits and giggles
Conclusion
be a rock
- Eliza the big rock