to venus II

to Venus II

In this universe, I stand as the last man,

Reason entices me with venomous advice;

I defy safety, forsaking good sense,

Stripped of all joyful choices.

The world and heaven both disdain me;

Leave me to my grave faults and lonely devices!

Let me stand or be hanged—

To embrace doom, destruction, and deceit,

To chase eternity’s fleeting shadow

Across scorched meadows and barren brooks,

Eventually losing all that is good in dream itself.

Yet let me declare! Let me roar!

My disclaimer, loud and clear!

Not an intelligent fool,

Nor a flawless youth,

I am the eternal torment’s mimic,

Yet pain shall not return,

In exile, I find neither gratitude nor joy,

Nor the promised land of peace.

The earth shines, the earth fades,

The earth decays, exposing her moaning chest,

Justice and divinity slain, time flees from itself.

I stand solitary on this dying planet,

Pity me not, O Man.

You move toward love’s sanctity,

And God alone keeps your secrets.

Angels sing for your passing,

But I am left alone—bald and wingless,

Unwanted and undesirable by the heavens,

Alone on this final planet,

The last dreamer, the waiting Man,

For something beyond every dubious dream,

And their eternal undeadness.

Let the thin curtains unveil,

And if ever in doubt, let

The Sun and Moon extinguish as well.

In a cool desert, I await my true lover,

And proudly I shall declare,

I will shout—a disclaimer:

“I alone am the wooer

Of eternal Truth, defying Man and his Eidolons.

I turned the Twilight of Dawn upside down,

And hung myself for the guilt of self-liberation.

I whipped the flesh for its own detachment and freedom

Brought torment to the tormentor; to conscience, pain,

To opium, opium; to dream of sleep, the morning’s gain.

I am the courtesan, I sell myself,

I am the poet, I both purvey and revile.

All that remains in my body and soul—last inch,

A bone cast to the last of Man's prayers,

Flowers’ fragrance seeks not my decay—

Water cannot quench their lust within me.

I am flavorless. And I dreamt of dross.

I sought meaning in solitude, gained nothing—

And now this moment too shall pass.

Yet I can declare, ‘I am a lion.’

Let me exclaim, ‘Never fettered by conscience,

Nor strength in weakness,’

Expound, ‘Constancy I sought in vain,’

‘All I know is brutal ugliness,’

‘Everything good from me flees,’

‘Hold on to dross,’ ‘Small hope is not enough,’

‘Never quenched nor decayed,’

‘Dreamless and deathless, strong,’

‘Undefeated, arrogant, and sin-laden,’

‘Blind and blind to blindness,’

‘I seek, and still I seek,’

‘All the worlds pass from me, yet I alone stand,’

‘The destroyer of love, peaceful serenity, and joy,’

‘Abandoned happiness and posterity.’

Let me proclaim this as the last dying man:

‘Without conscientious shame,

Nor desired immanent flaws and weakness,

I alone,’

Let me sing for the last time,

‘Before ever and ever,

My throat quenched by

The blood slit itself, reality’s razor.’

I will not dance the fool’s dance,

Nor gaze upwards, nor renounce my pride.

‘Yet joyful I am, being joyless,

The sufferer of every fortune,

And poor mendicant in goodness.’

‘I alone am the wooer’

(And might the universe be destroyed for its sake, as well)

‘Of eternal Truth.’

ヴィーナス II へ

この宙において、最後の男として立ち、

理性は私に毒を含んだ助言を持ちかける；

安全を拒み、良識を捨て、

喜びの選択をすべて奪われた。

世界も天も私を軽蔑し、

私を重き過ちと孤独な仕業に委ねよ！

立つか、吊るされるか、

運命、破壊、欺瞞を抱き、

儚い永遠の影を追い、

焦げた草地と荒れた小川を渡り、

最終的に夢の中の善を失う。

それでも高言させよ！ 轟かせよ！

私の免罪符を、大声で！

私は賢明な愚者でも、

完璧な若者でもない、

永遠の苦悩の模倣者、

しかし痛みは戻らず、

追放の地で感謝も喜びもなく、

平和の約束の地も見出せない。

地球は輝き、地球は消え、

地球は朽ち、喘ぎの胸を露わにし、

正義と神性討ちし、時間己から逃げる。

私はこの死にゆく惑星で孤立し、

哀れみを請うな、御人よ。

あなたは愛の聖域へと進み、

神のみがあなたの秘密を保つ。

天使たちはあなたの死を歌い、

しかし私はただ一人—禿げ、翼のない、

天に望まれず、望まれざる者として、

最後の惑星に一人立ち、

最後の夢想家、待つ者として、

疑わしい夢を超えるものを待つ。

薄いカーテンを開け、

もし己に疑念があれば、

月日さえも消え失せよ。

涼しい砂漠で、真の恋人を待ち、

堂々と高言せよ、

声を上げて—免罪符を：

私一人が永遠の真実の契る人、

人とその義像（アイドル）に挑む者。

夜明けの黄昏をひっくり返し、

達成された解放のために自らを吊るす。

超脱して自由であるがゆえに、肉体を打つ。

拷問者に苦悩をもたらし、良心に痛みを、

阿片に、阿片に；夢の睡眠に、朝の恵みを。

私はクルティザン、自らを売る者、

私は詩人、自分を供給し、同時に非難する。

私の身体と魂に残るもの—最後の一寸、

人の最後の祈りに投げられた骨、

花の香りは私の腐敗を求めず—

水はその欲望を満たさない。

私は無味で、ただ粗末な夢を見た。

孤独で意味もなく探し、何も得られず—

そして今、この瞬間も過ぎ去る。

それでも「私はライオンだ」と布告し。

「良心に束縛されず、

弱さに強さを持てない」、

「私は無駄な定常を求めた」、

「知っているのは残酷な醜さだけ」、

「私からはすべての善が逃げる」、

「空しさにしがみつけ」、「小さな希望では不十分」、

「決して満たされず、朽ちず」、

「夢のない、死なず、強く」、

「打ち負かされず、傲慢で罪にまみれ」、

「盲目で盲目の盲目」、

「私は探し続ける、そしてまだ探し続ける」、

「すべての世界が私から去っても、ただ一人立ち続ける」、

「愛、平和な安らぎ、喜びの破壊者、

「幸福と来生を捨て去った。」

これを最後の死にゆく者として宣言せよ：

「良心的な恥も、

望まれる内的欠陥と弱さもなく、

私一人が、」

最後の一度、歌わせよ、

「永遠に、

私の喉を血で潤し、

現実の剃刀で」。

愚者の舞踏を踊らず、

上を見上げず、誇りを否定せず、

「それでも私は喜びをもっている、喜びなき者として、

すべての運命を受け入れる者、

善において貧しい乞食」と。

「私一人が契る人」

（そして宇宙もそのために破壊されるかもしれぬ）

「永遠の真実の」

composed from MCMLXX to MCMLXIX (I.O.)

or from 2024 to 2023 A.D.

the last judgement of one year

..//

0.0
In this universe, I will be the last man
Reason bids me poisonous advise;
safety I stand against.
Good Senses from me flees,
Deprived of all enjoyable choices.
And the world and heaven all me despise:
Leave me to my grave faults and lonesome device!
Let me hence stand or be hanged!
To espouse doom, destruction, falsehood and
of Eternity, the transient chase
across the seared meads and stone-bare brooks
And eventually in loathsome death all good qualities
of Dream itself to lose!
But let me pronounce! Let me roar!
My disclaimer, out loud!
As neither an intelligent fool,
Nor a flawless youth,
The eternal torment's imitator,
yet pain shall not return,
in gratitude and joy were I exiled,
and in nothing to find the promised land of peace.
the earth shines, the earth loses,
the earth decays, baring her moaning chest
justice and divinity slain, time flees from itself
I stand lonely on this planet that sees its end
be sorry for me not---Man.
You pass on to sanctity of love,
and God alone holds your secrets
Angels sing for your perishing...
But I shall be left alone---I am bald and unwinged
undesired and undesirable by heavenly things
and alone on this planet last I stand
the last dreamer---the waiting Man
for something else to pass from here other than
every dream dubious, and of their eternal undeath
let the thin curtains unveil
and should ever in doubt let the
Sun and Moon go out as well
on a cool desert i await alone, for my true lover
and proudly I shall pronounce,
I will shout---a disclaimer
"I and I alone, am the wooer
of eternal Truth, against Man and his Eidolons.
I turned the Twilight of Dawn upside down,
and hanged myself over liberation.
whipped the flesh for its detachment and freedom.
I brought torment to the tormentor; to the conscience, pain
to opium, opium; to dream of sleep, the morning gain.
I am the courtisan, I myself sell
I am the poet, I purvey and revile
All that is left in my body and soul---last inch
a bone cast to the last of Man's prayers
flowers' fragrance seek not my decay---
water is not in me their lust quenched
I am flavourless. And I dreamt of dross...
I sought lone and meaninglessly, gained nothing---
and now this moment too comes to pass...
yet I am able to pronounce, 'I am a lion'
let me exclaim 'never fettered by conscience,
nor strength in weakness,'
expatiate 'constancy I sought all'
'all I know is brutal ugliness'
'everything good from me flees'
'hold on to dross' 'small hope not enough'
'never quenched nor decayed'
'dreamless and deathless, strong'
'undefeated, arrogant and sin-laden'
'blind and blind of blindness'
'I seek, and still I seek'
'all the worlds pass on from me, yet I alone stand'
'the destroyer of love, peaceful serenity, and joy'
'abandoned happiness and posterity'
let me announce this as the last dying man
'without conscientious shame,
nor desired immanent flaws and weakness
I alone,'
let me sing for the last time,
'before ever and ever,
my throat is quenched by
blood slit itself, reality's razor'
I will not do the fool's dance,
nor gaze upwards, nor denounce my pride
'yet joyful I am, being joyless
the sufferer of every fortune,
and poor mendicant in goodness'
'I alone, am the wooer'
(and might the universe be destroyed for its sake, as well)
'of "Eternal Truth"'.

../
ai translation of my japanese ver. (blind to my english original)

"In this void, standing as the last man, Reason offers me poisoned counsel; Rejecting safety, forsaking common sense, Deprived of every choice for joy. The world and the heavens disdain me, Casting me into grave mistakes and solitary deeds! Shall I stand, or be hanged, Embracing fate, destruction, and deceit, Chasing the ephemeral shadow of eternity, Crossing scorched meadows and desolate streams, Ultimately losing the good within dreams. Yet still, let me speak boldly! Let it roar! My absolution, loudly proclaimed! I am neither a wise fool nor a perfect youth, But an imitator of eternal torment, With pain unreturned, Without gratitude or joy in the land of exile, And no promise of peace to be found. The earth shines, the earth fades, The earth decays, revealing its gasping chest, Striking down justice and divinity, time fleeing from itself. I stand isolated on this dying planet, Pleading no pity, O noble one. You advance to the sanctuary of love, Only the divine can keep your secrets. Angels sing your death, But I alone—bald, wingless, Unwanted in heaven, unwished for, Stand solitary on the final planet, The last dreamer, waiting, Awaiting what lies beyond dubious dreams. Open the thin curtain, If you harbor doubts, May even time vanish. In the cool desert, waiting for the true beloved, Proclaim proudly, Raise your voice—absolution: I alone am the eternal truth’s covenant-bearer, Challenging humanity and its idols. Turn the twilight of dawn, Hang yourself for the achieved liberation. Transcending and free, thus striking the flesh. Inflicting torment upon the torturers, pain upon the conscience, To opium, to opium; to dreams’ slumber and morning’s grace. I am the curtezans, the self-seller, I am the poet, supplying and criticizing myself. What remains of my body and soul—the final inch, Bones cast in the last prayer of humanity, The scent of flowers does not seek my decay— Water does not fulfill its desire. I am tasteless, having dreamed only crude dreams. Alone and meaninglessly searching, gaining nothing— And now, this moment also passes. Yet still I declare, 'I am the lion.' 'Not bound by conscience, Unable to hold strength against weakness,' 'I sought futile constancy,' 'Only knowing cruel ugliness,' 'All good flees from me,' 'Cling to emptiness,' 'small hope is insufficient,' 'Never fulfilled, uncorrupted,' 'Without dreams, unending, strong,' 'Unbeaten, arrogant, and mired in sin,' 'Blind and blindly blind,' 'I continue to seek, and still seek,' 'Even if all worlds forsake me, I stand alone,' 'The destroyer of love, peaceful repose, and joy,' 'Abandoning happiness and the afterlife.' Declare this as the last dying one: 'Without conscientious shame, Without desired inner flaws and weakness, I alone am,' Sing one last time, 'For eternity, Sated with my blood on my throat, With the razor of reality.' Not dancing the fool’s dance, Not looking up, not denying pride, 'Yet I possess joy, as one without joy, One who accepts all fate, A beggar in virtue.' 'I alone am the covenant-bearer,' (And the universe might be destroyed for this) 'of Eternal truth.'"