Anya often says, "It's okay even if I get into danger because Mama will save me." The reason she can smile and be so cheerful is that Yor-san is her safe haven２５

"Minato might be different, but I know quite a few friends who, after holding in too much and accumulating stress, ended up unable to work."

"If you can become foolish enough to fully entrust all your thinking to others, then that's fine. But if you keep suppressing your own will after giving it careful thought, eventually, you'll suddenly break and collapse. I don't want that to happen to you."

"…It's still far off. My debut as a working adult."

"True."

"Well, more than anything, it's the skill of reading the atmosphere that's needed. But then again, when a lot of people gather, it's rare for everyone to have the same opinion. Why? Because there are people like me."

"Big brother, are you really not standing out at work?"

"How rude."

"Likes and dislikes, good and evil—there are as many as there are people. Keep your own opinions and ego intact, and be aware of it. Understand why you think the way you do. Because if you don't truly understand yourself, when you clash with others, you won't be able to argue back, reconcile with their opinions, or even counter when you're wrong."

"…Big brother, what happened?"

"I've been through a lot too, and that's how I've mellowed out."

• From "Koori no Jouheki" (Ice Wall), a conversation between Mina and his older brother.

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It's easy to sympathize with a child who has had a terrible day at school.

However, what if what the child is saying is something hard to accept?

For example, if a child says, "I hate the baby. Send them back to the hospital," how would you respond?

At such times, it’s essential for you as a parent to listen to the child, strive to understand, and accept their feelings as they are. Instead of denying the child's feelings by saying something like, "Don't say such things," you should accept the child's feelings as they are, saying something like, "Come to think of it, we haven't spent any time together, just the two of us lately. It's understandable that you might wish the baby wasn't here."

Asking questions like "How do you feel about becoming a big brother (or sister)?" is also a good idea. No matter what the answer is, do not say things like "Please love your little brother (or sister)."

When a child is expressing their feelings, what they need is someone to receive those feelings.

Distracting a child is a strategy parents often use to redirect their attention from what they are experiencing to something else (something convenient for the parent or society). However, distraction is not a good method when it comes to developing a child's mind and emotions.

Distraction is merely a form of deception, and in the long run, manipulating a child in this way can rob them of the ability to find happiness on their own.

What message does distraction convey to the child?

For instance, imagine you trip and fall while out. If your partner, instead of showing concern or empathizing with your embarrassment, says something like, "I'll let you play your favorite game," how would you feel?

Of course, we wouldn't say such things to adults. But strangely, we often say these kinds of things to children as if it's the most natural thing in the world.

The attitude with which your child interacts with you reflects the attitude you take towards them.

For example, if your child wants something you don’t want to give them, like car keys, how do you respond? Instead of distracting them by saying, "Look at this doll," you should explain clearly, "You can't play with the car keys."

The child might feel frustrated by your response.

In that moment, you can say, "You're angry because you didn't get the keys. I understand you're upset." By repeating this, the parent becomes a vessel for the child’s emotions, and the child learns how to accept their own feelings.

It may seem tedious, but if you don’t repeat this, in a few years—or perhaps even in ten years—your child will not have learned how to handle their emotions, and this issue will compound and come back to haunt you as a parent.

If, as a parent, you continually distract your child from their emotions, the child won’t learn how to deal with their feelings, leading to an inability to form long-term relationships with others.

If a child is hurt, emotionally wounded, or has their feelings denied, distracting them prevents them from facing difficult situations like failure or setbacks, which in turn hinders their growth.

Everyone experiences being hurt, emotionally wounded, denied, and, in some cases, failure, setbacks, and betrayal.

The goal isn't to avoid these experiences, but to cultivate a resilient heart that can withstand them.