#17 当たり前の価値-4
２００３．１０．１１(土)
今日はあまり気持ちがのらなかった．勉強時間はたったの６時間．今やっているのは「化学」です．化学は２年生からの科目なので，学校で授業を受けている皆と同じスタートとなる．だけど，聞くところによると授業の進行スピードはとてつもなく早いらしいから，遅れをとらないようにやらないといけない．だから必死なのです．先生がいないので，全て独学です．だけど，自分だけでやっているから，難しい内容のものを一人で解決できた時にはとてつもなく嬉しくなる．コツコツと地道にやっていけばきっと結果は出るでしょう．
さて，本日は病院のイベントである，花火大会がありました．病室の窓から眺めた花火はとても綺麗で，健康第一のことを再認識しました．ちなみに，花火は化学の炎色反応を応用したもので，よく見られる赤色の花火はリチウムでできているようです．だからなんだって話ですが，こういうことを少しでも知っていると，色々な見方ができて楽しいんですよね．そんな１日でした．
２００３．１０．１２(日)
今日採血をした．そしたら白血球が大幅に上昇していた．前回は７００だったのに，今回は４２００だったのだ．さらに，４２００のうちの２９００が好中球だったらしい．しかしアイソレーターはまだ外してもらえない．だからまだハウス栽培されるに身に変わりはない．ただまぁこれで退院がより近づいてきたことは確かだろう．
ちなみに，俺は両足の全部が巻き爪なのだが，白血球が少ない時につま先をどこかにぶつけてしまい，爪の外側の部分が腫れ上がり膿んでしまっている．これが移植の時になってしまうと，感染の原因になってしまうらしく，今のうちに処置をしなければならないとのこと．なので，来週の火曜日に外科に行って診察を受けることになりました．聞いた話だと，爪の外側に麻酔を打って，爪の中央からハサミを入れて爪を半分取ってしまうらしい．なんだか考えただけでもゾッとする．ちなみに，親父が経験者らしい．親父，尊敬します．
２００３．１０．１３(月)
今日は午前中，ぐっすりと眠ってしまい，全く勉強しなかった．午後にやろうと思っていたら，野球部の仲間が見舞いに来てくれた．４０分くらい話しただろうか．たわいもない会話も，自分には本当に幸せな時間だった．その後に親戚の人たちが来てくれて，さらにその後は別な野球部の仲間が来てくれた．いろんな人と話をすると，やっぱり元気をもらえる．特に野球部の仲間には特段の元気をもらえる．野球がやれていることを羨ましく思うこともあるけど，やはり，自分にとっては最高の仲間だ．そう思えるからこそ，余計に悔しい気持ちも強くなってしまう．早く復帰して時間を取り戻したいものです．
はてさて，爪の話だが，あの後，いろんな人に話を聞いた．得られた情報としては，かなり痛いということだけ．全くもって嬉しくない情報だ．痛いことを知っていて処置を受けるとなると，かなり身構えてしまう．いやしかし，この状況さえもポジティブに捉えてしまおう．そう，この経験は巻き爪人間でしか味わえないのだ．いわゆる限定だ．さぞかし羨ましがっているに違いない．世の中の人間たちは，「限定」という言葉に弱い．そんな限定経験を味わえる俺は特別なんだ．特別巻き爪人間だ．どうだ，かかってこい．
October 11, 2003 (Saturday)
I didn't feel very good today. I studied for only 6 hours. I'm working on “Chemistry” now. Chemistry is a subject from the second grade, so I start the same as everyone else who is taking classes at school. However, I hear that the speed of the classes is incredibly fast, so I have to keep up with them. That's why I'm so desperate. I don't have a teacher, so I have to learn everything on my own. But because I'm doing it all on my own, I'm incredibly happy when I'm able to solve a difficult problem on my own. I am sure that if I keep working steadily and diligently, I will be able to get results.
Today, there was a fireworks display, an event held at the hospital. The fireworks display from the window of the hospital room was so beautiful that it reminded me of the fact that health comes first. By the way, fireworks are based on the flame color reaction of chemistry, and the red fireworks that are often seen are made of lithium. So what, but it's fun to know a little bit about these things and to be able to look at them in different ways. Such was my day.
October 12, 2003 (Sun)
I had my blood drawn today. The white blood cell count was significantly elevated. The last time it was 700, but this time it was 4200. Moreover, 2900 of the 4200 were neutrophils. However, the isolator has not been removed yet. So, I am still in the house. But I am sure that I am getting closer to being discharged from the hospital.
By the way, I have ingrown toenails on both feet, and when my white blood cell count was low, I stubbed my toe somewhere and the outer part of the nail swelled up and became infected. If this happens at the time of implantation, it could cause infection, so I have to take care of it now. So, I'm going to see the surgeon next Tuesday for a checkup. I heard that they inject anesthesia into the outside of the nail and remove half of the nail with scissors from the center of the nail. I shudder just thinking about it. By the way, my father has had this experience. I respect my father.
October 13, 2003 (Monday)
I slept soundly this morning and did not study at all. I was going to do it in the afternoon when a buddy of mine from the baseball team came to visit me, and we talked for about 40 minutes. It was a very happy time for me, even if it was just a casual conversation. After that, my relatives came to visit me, and after that, another baseball team member came to visit me. Talking with people from all walks of life is invigorating. In particular, I feel especially energized by my friends from the baseball team. Sometimes I envy the fact that I am able to play baseball, but they are the best friends I have ever had. Because I feel that way, I feel even more frustrated. I can't wait to get back to work and make up for lost time.
Now, about the fingernails, I talked to many people after that. The only information I could get was that it hurts a lot. This is not at all pleasant information. Knowing that it hurts and having to undergo the procedure makes me quite defensive. However, I will take even this situation as a positive thing. Yes, this experience is only available to people with ingrown toenails. It's what I call limited. They must be envious. The word “limited” is a word that people in this world love to hear. I am special to have such a limited experience. I'm a special curly-clawed human being. Come on, take a shot at me.