#18 当たり前の価値-5　

２００３．１０．１４(火)
　今日は忙しかった．歯科と外科の診察があった．歯科に行ったら担当の先生が不在で代わりの先生が対応してくれたのだが，「またお呼びします」ということで一旦病室へ．「は？」って感じですよね．順番だから降りて来たのにまた戻れ？全く理解できない．イライラでまた行ったらレントゲンを撮って終了．なぜあの時戻されたのでしょうか．意味不明．しっかり説明してくれよ．その後は待ちに待った外科での爪処置．相当痛いことを想定して挑み，覚悟して麻酔注射を受けると，「あれ？あまり痛くない」感動だった．ものすごい緊張して行ったけども，上手な先生にあたったのか，ビックリするほど痛くなかった．本当に良かった．皆さん，巻き爪で悩んでいたらここの先生に診てもらった方がいいですよ！オススメです！！
　明日はルンバールと肺の検査です．移植に向けて色々検査三昧です．ま，頑張りましょう．
 
２００３．１０．１５(水)
　今日の午前中は検査づくしだった．食事後の休憩後，１０時過ぎに肺の検査を行った．肺の検査は人生初で多少の緊張があったが全く痛くもなく，検査の中では患者想いの検査だった．その後受けたのはルンバール．K先生が対応してくれた．半年入院していて，これまでに何回も受けて来た処置だけど，今日が一番早かった．上手な先生に巡り会えて良かった．２時間の安静を守り，トイレに歩いて行ったらすぐに吐き気．食事も取れず，今もまだすっきりしない．移植の時の気持ち悪さはこんなもんではないのだろう．もっともっと強い吐き気が何日も続くのだろう．考えただけでも嫌だけど，絶対に自分の骨髄にさせてみせるんだ．痛い思いをして善意で骨髄を提供してくれるドナーさん．大切な骨髄液を一滴も無駄にしたくない．やってみせよう．
　そして，明日も検査です．明日の検査は超音波エコーを使って，心臓の動きをみるようです．これまた痛くないようですので，あまり身構えする必要はないですね．頑張ります．
 
２００３．１０．１６(金)
　今日は６時間勉強ができた．検査も予想通り痛くなくできた．しかし，本当は，検査地味に痛く，超音波検査の時，プローブを肋骨にゴリゴリさせられた．ほんと，地味でしょー．明日も検査．明日の検査は歯科．それでは，おやすみなさい．
 
２００３．１０．１７(土)
　今日，無事退院が決まりました．当然ながら，移植前の最後の仮退院です．もしかすると，最悪の場合，自宅に帰れる最後のチャンスかもしれません(もしかするとですよ)．また日記で出会えるといいですね．もちろん，自宅にいる時は日記書きませんので．十分に思い出を作って来ます．それでは，また．

第二章　完

2003.10.14(Tue) Today was a busy day. I had a dental and a surgical examination. When I went to the dentist's office, the doctor in charge was not available, so the doctor in his place took care of me, but he said, “I'll call you again. What? I was like, “What? I came down because it was my turn, and now I have to go back up again? I don't understand it at all. I went back in frustration, took an x-ray, and that was it. Why was I sent back then? It doesn't make any sense. Please explain it to me.... After that, the long-awaited nail procedure at the surgery. I was expecting a lot of pain, and when I received the anesthesia injection, I thought, “What? It didn't hurt that much. I was so nervous, but I guess I had a good anesthesiologist, because it was surprisingly painless. I was really happy. If you are suffering from ingrown toenails, you should see a doctor here! I recommend it!　Tomorrow, I have my Lumbar and lung exam. I have a lot of tests to go through for the transplant. Let's do our best.

2003.10.15(Wed) I had a lot of tests this morning. After a break for lunch, I had a lung examination after 10:00 a.m. It was the first time in my life to have a lung examination. It was the first time in my life to have a lung examination, and I was a little nervous, but it was not painful at all, and I felt like a patient in the examination. After that, I had a Lumbar, which was handled by Dr. K. I had been in the hospital for six months. I have been in the hospital for six months and have undergone this procedure many times, but today was the fastest. I was on bed rest for two hours, walked to the bathroom, and immediately felt nauseous. I couldn't eat, and I still don't feel well. I guess that's what it's like to be sick during a transplant. I'm sure the nausea will be much stronger and last for days. I hate to even think about it, but I'm going to let my marrow do it. Donors who donate bone marrow out of the goodness of their hearts, even though it hurts. I don't want to waste even a drop of that precious bone marrow fluid. I will do it.　Tomorrow, I have another examination. Tomorrow's test is going to be an ultrasound echo to check the movement of the heart. Again, it seems to be painless, so I don't have to get too prepared. I'll do my best.

2003.10.16(Fri) I was able to study for 6 hours today. The examination was painless, as expected. But the truth is that the examinations were painless, and I had the probe rubbed against my ribs during the ultrasound examinations. It's really not that bad, is it? Tomorrow's examination will be the same. Tomorrow's exam is in dentistry. Good night.

2003.10.17(Sat) I was released from the hospital today. Of course, this is the last temporary discharge before the transplant. This may be my last chance to go home in the worst case scenario (just in case). I hope to see you again in my diary. Of course, I won't write in my diary when I'm home. I will make enough memories. See you soon.

Chapter 2 Complete