I want to ask you something

Mother! Ma-ma! "MOM!"

"Quiet down!" I'm in the kitchen. Don't bother me when I'm knee deep in a bottle of sake and cooking. You know better than that!

Sorry! I'm not hungry anyway. 

Thinking to myself: Oh damn! Something is definitely wrong or I've had too much sake today and it's only 6pm. Hmmm? Either way, I have to give a sympathetic response or I wouldn't be a proper mother. 
Inhale. Exhale. Focus. One more sip of sake. 
Ahhh, is there something you would like to talk about? 

You don't want to know. Forget it ok!

Thinking to myself: Eeehh! I'm not good with this stuff. His father should handle this. Unfortunately he left us for a younger woman. She was a tall and slender woman with strong looking calves and shoulders. An ear to ear long smile with big teeth. What a shark. 
Uhhhh! Now I just manage to go though a different man every six months or so. Curse these big breast of mine and that local 24 hour fitness center.  When I'm working out, at my age, I'm just a fish on the chopping block. It's good to be wanted, isn't it?

Ummm! Why don't I just order Domino's pizza? I know you miss going out to drink with your classmates, but you know I can't afford any of us getting sick. 

Surprised with my offer, he fumbled the cold beer I underhanded him. It fell to the floor. I should have told him I was going to throw him one. 

Geeez! They don't teach you how to catch in college? What am I paying them for? Forget about it! Here's another one. Move over! 

"Mom!"

Don't worry, I don't have the omicron. And what if I did? Wouldn't you rather catch it from me than some stranger? "Ahh?" That's not the point." What's going on? Might as well tell me. 

I got accepted by two companies. I have to choose one, but I don't know which one. Company White is great. I recall my mates saying it was on their list. Company Zebra is exciting and adventurous. When I went to my final interview, I saw so many young women working there. Like 60/40. If you think about it, of the 60% of men, 40% must be married or taken. 

Are your freaking kidding? Stop thinking in terms of girls! 

Mom! 20 eligible men and 40 women in the same workplace. I expect Company Zebra will do black things, but If I join Company White, I'll get married by the time you turn…

Shhh! "Shut up!" 
Thinking to myself: He's got a point. I never forced him to study. He got into the college without any effort on my part other than cooking and cleaning up after him. He dresses well and look handsome like his father. 

"Knock-knock!" I'll get it mom. 
Mom! It's… It's uummm! It's a different man every six months. I'll just go to my room ok!

No! "No wait!" Sit! "Staaay!" Give me a second.

Hey, what are you doing here? 

I was in the area and you told me to stop by when ever. It's when ever!

You couldn't even message me first? 

Daijobu! Your boy said he'll go to his room didn't he?

Thinking to myself: I need to another cup of sake. I should have put a bra on. Did I leave the oven on?

Tonight's not good, and don't ever come to my home unannounced.