Yoyuu, Anger, Happiness

Yoyuu　余裕

Sometimes I want to things to just be easy.
Sometimes I just want to take the wrong turn going somewhere.
Sometime I just want that extra space in my stomach too have one more bite.

When you are happy, it's easy to forget how you felt a just a few moments ago. I know I have most of the things I wanted when I was a kid now.
And I 'm very grateful for it.
Yet, I feel it's just too much and not enough at the same time.
It wasn't anything like I expected to be.

Honestly, I feel like I'm being crushed by having to pay taxes.
Going to work can feel like hell. Even when it's a good job.
And these feelings can only be somewhat healed by eating.
But I can never seem to eat enough.

Anger

Living in Japan when I look at Japanese anime, I usually become angry.
All the women are little girls that are hypersexualized.
Yet no one seems to care.
I feel in order to change Japan's obsession with under-aged people,
it would take more than my life time to do it.

Overwhelmed by all the problems in the world, i stopped looking at
Facebook Instagram and other social media when I can.
But from a certain point, I think I stopped believing in people.
I started being hypercritical of other people.

Since when have I become so bitter?

This anger I have inside feels like acid sometimes.
And it feels like it's connected to my indigestion.
I over think things that most of the time I cannot change.

Looking in the mirror

I don't really know what to do with my life.
But there was a time when I just enjoyed my life.
I've decided to go back to that time by doing
my morning ritual that I loved doing.

Looking in the mirror.
It was one of the most difficult thing to do,
but at the same time the most effective thing
to change my thinking and regain focus on what's most important;
the well-being of the self.

Yeah I know I'm not anywhere near my happy place.
But hopefully I'm starting to take steps towards the right direction.

Thanks for reading.