Striving for Growth: A Reflection on Parenting, Time Management, and Intervention

I found an incredibly ideal situation at home. I had been longing to spend time with my son while each of us focused on whatever interested us. For example, we would both sit on the couch: I would get lost in my go-to novel, and he would immerse himself in his favorite books. Recently, this dream has come true more and more often—mainly because my husband is away on a business trip in Nigeria, and I have to handle everything on my own.

I kept telling my son how busy I would be without his father around and asking him to be supportive whenever I was occupied with his younger sister. When I put my daughter to bed, he would stay in the living room on his own. Because I have been striving to create a kid-friendly environment, everything he might need is placed within easy reach, so he can manage just fine without me hovering. The time it takes for my daughter to drift off can vary depending on her mood, but my son has learned to make his own decisions about what he wants to do and how long he wants to keep at it—which makes me incredibly proud. More often than not, by the time I come back to the living room, he has finished his Kumon math and Japanese homework and is already buried in his books. You can imagine how over the moon I feel watching him grow. Meanwhile, I also get some personal time—a true “kill two birds with one stone” situation. I am beyond satisfied with how peacefully we spend our evenings once my daughter is asleep.

However, one thing happened this morning that left me frustrated. Mornings are our busiest time of day, especially with the pressure of commuting. I had told my son he could finish the pages he was in the middle of last night but then needed to do his Kumon assignments, because he had used up his usual homework time reading. I did not want to stifle his passion for books, so we agreed he would do the homework the next morning. But sure enough, he tried to wriggle out of our deal—even though it was reading (something I have always wanted him to love). Still, I did not want to set a precedent. Once you compromise in these situations, things can spiral out of control. So I insisted he do his homework rather than continue reading.

Thankfully, he listened and obeyed. I was glued to my e-book until the very last minute. Then I glanced at the clock and realized we were on the brink of being late for kindergarten. I hurried him along, but he started fooling around. Suddenly, I lost my cool and shouted at him. I rushed to the door, practically yelling that he could do whatever he wanted, but I was leaving. When he did not follow, I marched back to the living room, only to see him quietly shedding tears—clearly feeling wronged. My heart sank, and I felt terrible for letting my own poor time management turn into anger directed at him. As an adult, it is on me to handle scheduling, yet I took out my frustration on him instead. It only dawned on me how unfair I had been once I wrote it all down, seeing the situation through the eyes of a bystander.

Ultimately, I have realized that a healthy parent-child relationship often comes down to building in enough time and space for everyone’s needs. When we are pressed for time, tempers flare, and it is easy to forget our children are just doing their best. Going forward, I am determined to plan more carefully, communicate more calmly, and avoid letting the rush of daily life overshadow these precious moments we share.