Reflecting on Friendships: Embracing Change and Reconnecting with the Past

Yesterday, after putting my kids to bed earlier than usual—my son told me he was tired and wanted to get a good night’s sleep before his kindergarten outing—I suddenly found myself with extra personal time. I decided to use it productively by taking a few online conversation lessons.

To warm up, I started with a simple topic discussion to ease into “English mode.” I chose the topic *Meeting New People* because I realized I hardly meet new people since my children were born. I didn’t want to blame my kids for this; rather, I wanted to reflect on this change and maybe gain some insights through the discussion.

As I spoke with the tutor, memories of my former self surfaced. Before my relationship with my husband deepened (he was my boyfriend at the time), I was a true “people person.” I frequently participated in various events, from international meetups to matchmaking parties, where I enjoyed meeting different people and practicing my language skills. I even became a freelance Chinese teacher for Japanese students, giving in-person lessons to expand my network. These activities introduced me to many friendly, interesting people, and we often hung out as friends. However, after I got married, I gradually lost touch with most of them. My hesitation to initiate plans made it difficult to maintain long-lasting relationships.

Reflecting on those times, I noticed how I’ve changed from a social butterfly to a more reserved, low-key person. There are so many things I’d like to bring back into my life, but the reality is that time is limited. I’ve had to compromise, letting go of some of the things I once enjoyed—like meeting new people. Another reason for this shift, I realized, is that I’ve come to understand what matters most to me. I’ve learned to prioritize, investing time and energy in the people with whom I want to build lifelong relationships. Now, I feel more at peace and content, reserving my time for what truly brings me joy.

While I’m no longer in touch with many people I once knew, I’m surprisingly satisfied and feel little regret. This conversation reminded me of the importance of nurturing the relationships I already have, though. So, I’ve decided to take small steps to reconnect with those I’ve unintentionally neglected—starting with something simple like sending New Year postcards.

The conversation left me with a renewed sense of clarity. My life and priorities have shifted, and while I may no longer seek out as many new connections, I’m focused on fostering deeper, more meaningful relationships. I feel this shift marks a phase of maturity, where I’m defining how I want to spend my time and with whom. Reconnecting with those who once played a positive role in my life seems like a way to honor both the past and present, bringing a sense of continuity to my relationships.

It’s a reminder that even as life changes, there’s always value in preserving the connections that have contributed to who I am today.