"Retirement from competitive skating" with Matsuoka Shuzo as the interviewer (full ver.)
🗣️ Translated by yuu. (me)
At the hotel Yuzu had his press con:
Shuzo san: The press con lasted for 1 hour. I could understand your feelings well, but it didn't seem like the usual you. It seemed like you were really nervous, maybe it was because your feelings (wanting everyone to understand his decision) were that strong.
Yuzu: I was nervous. I didn't know how everyone would feel and react, and I was trying to show that I had a completely different image in my mind from "retiring" so I was nervous if I could explain that well in the press con.
Shuzo san: From all the past interviews I've been looking back at, I really like the ones when you're really into the competitiveness of skating.
There is a clip of Yuzu from a 2017 interview:
Yuzu: It's always the winning or losing part in skating that's deep inside my heart.
A clip of Yuzu from a 2019 interview:
Yuzu: I myself when continuing this sport, am really cutting up every single bit of my life, in order to give it all to skating. and to lose in this (in competitions), is something really painful (to me).
Shuzo san: From what you've told us, is it okay to think that you have stepped down from competitive skating?
Yuzu: I actually think I stepped up from competitive skating to the world of pro skating, so there is this word "retirement", but I would like everyone to take it as me moving onto a new completely different path of skating.
Shuzo san: Thinking about you competing with other skaters, for me the "SEIMEI" in 2015, you were really competitive in that one. no misses, perfect (performance). What did you think about yourself then?
Yuzu: I actually had a cold that time
Shuzo san: What!?
Yuzu: Yes, I had a cold from the continuous competitions before, and it was actually really tough for my body. But what I thought then was that if I could keep the balance between my mental state and my body, I could finish with no mistakes. I think that's what I said then. It wasn't the feeling of "I want to win", or "I want to finish with no misses", I was just telling myself to do my best and finish it off till the very end. And because of those feelings of everyone's expectations for me, and from everyone always thinking about my performances, I think I was able to push through and finish.
Shuzo san: So to think of it this way, does it mean that you weren't fighting (competing with) the others and it was something different you were doing?
Yuzu: At this point i don't think i was even fighting anymore. this was actually when i was the most scared about the past.
Shuzo san: What do you mean by that?
Yuzu: In the previous competition before that, I had scored over 300 points for the first time and right after that I had to compete again. To be honest, the body isn't something that would easily adapt and be able to compete again so soon, and there were almost no times where i could finish off with both the short and free program with no misses. Maybe for skaters if we were asked how many times that's happened, it might not be possible to count (considering how many times they've been able to complete them that way), but for me there were really only a few times. And of course I was really nervous , and I think all I was thinking about was how I was going to beat my score in the last one.
Shuzo san: It might be impolite to ask you this, but to me as an athlete, (*he's a retired pro tennis player*) think that as soon as I've moved on to a different stage (in life), there was always this word "limits" inside me. Limits in the body for you, there were probably many including the ones in your ankles. How did you overcome the limits this time?
Yuzu: I think, in tennis, this is not a "professional retiring". If I was to give an example with tennis, it would be "finally being able to become a pro tennis player from an amateur".
Shuzo san: From now?
Yuzu: So for my body, ofc I'm worried about my ankle. even when I'm practicing, I'm wondering if my ankle is okay, or when I wake up there would be times where it hurts too. but, I think especially the past 4 years, 4 years after Pyeongchang, I did injure myself during that time too, however when thinking of how much I was able to improve, and how there's so much more things that could be done just in the practicing, I think i can still keep on going. of course like the instant reaction and movement I could do when I was in my 10s is not something that can be compared to myself now. But im becoming better and I will continue to improve. There's even tennis players right now that are in their 40s who are really good players. It's hard to tell with figure skating because there aren't examples of people like that, but I really think I can still improve.
Shuzo san: For example your "heart's limit", in your press con today. Right, yeah, the way you said "the name Hanyu Yuzuru is something heavy (a heavy feeling) inside me". This is like the expectations from around you too, how was this type of limit, your heart's limit like?
Yuzu: It's like I lose my heart (feelings) many times, I think there were probably times where I was doing (skating) with the feeling of "nothing" inside me. To be honest the toughest and most painful times for me -I don't really want to say it- but I really couldn't get myself to eat, I didn't even want to eat, but when I'm skating I know how to express my feelings and it just does everything by itself. I can put my feelings into figure skating because of the techniques I've learnt from when I was 4, and its thanks to all those little efforts. There were of course many times where I felt like my heart was being crushed into pieces, even now. But to me it's a nice feeling to have everyone watch my skating. but the effort I put in and everything I have to do before that is really tough, so when things about me are being said behind my back, at times where I can't really say anything back, and when I'm being hurt that way, that's what actually hurts most.
Shuzo san: At the Beijing Olympics, we can tell your attractiveness also comes from the way you can show your weaknesses like the words "unrewarded efforts". I think everyone around you saw a different part of you then.
Yuzu: Because of that, I was able to understand that even when the perfect skater Hanyu Yuzuru showed his other sides of his personality (his weak parts), people still tried to support me, which made me glad I did that. I myself had no intention on going to the Beijing Olympics, if I'm being honest. I was thinking of just quickly landing the 4A and getting it over with. But now there's a part of me that's thinking; I've went for the Olympics, failed, couldn't get hold of it (probably talking about the 4A and/or the medal), and wasn't rewarded in the end. But the fact that there were still so many people that kept on supporting me and cheered on for me has been saving me, and if people will keep on walking alongside me onto my new journey, I would like to chase what you call a dream, together.
Shuzo san: To be honest I actually think I mis heard 1 thing. I heard you saying "im going to land the 4A" and i was like what!? What did you mean by that?
Yuzu: I've already come this far, so I thought it would be nice to chase my dream with everyone.
Shuzo san: Okoshi san what do you think?
Okoshi san: The word "retirement" is not exactly a nice word to use, but you used the words: "to keep on fighting on a new stage (in life) with the past self and people's expectations on my back". Are you not going to rest from tomorrow?
Yuzu: I haven't gotten any rest in the first place. Yesterday i practiced til late at night too, and even during the times im off the ice, I practice and do image training, along with taking care of my meals. I do a lot of things. I do have to say I have negative images towards words like "retirement" and "period". I'll improve more and more from now on, so I'll be happy to recieve everyone's expectations.
Okoshi san: You have had high expectations from all around the world and carried so many things on your back. So if you said right now that you want to take a break and get some rest, I don't think anyone will scold you for it. What do you think?
Yuzu: I have no intention to get any rest at all. Rather than that, I think this is the time where i need to think about what kind of performance im going to show, what part of me I'm going to be letting out, and of course I want to take care of myself and as I said at the press con, I would like to take good care of my mental health too. but I think everyone's interested in what kind of Hanyu Yuzuru I'm going to become from now on. Which is why I really want to try my best.
Shuzo san: I think everyone would want to send you words like "you've worked really hard" and "thank you", but are those maybe the wrong words to say right now?
Yuzu: "Thank you for your hard work" makes me kind of regret, and feel sad. I wonder if I wasn't able to tell everyone my emotions clearly. It makes me a little sad if people are sad or feel like they're going to miss me. But my true feelings right now are that I'm really looking forward to my future, and i want everyone to look forward and keep on fighting on wards with me too.
Shuzo san: You've graduated (moved on) from one stage (in life). Graduation is "commencement" in english. Commencement means a new start. I'm looking at you right now and thinking you've moved on to a new starting point.
Yuzu: I'm being able to start moving forward in a new stage in life, like i said to you in the interview when i was 16.
Shuzo san: We will all support you on your new journey.
Yuzu: Thank you.
Thank you for reading <3
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