The pursuit of humility.

This corona chaos and quarantine madness have been driving us crazy. It's not just that our hearts are overwhelmed by the fear of the unknown, but it's also the sudden changes in life and the unexpected turnout of events. The fear of not being able to control anything is overwhelming... and it just seems to steal away every single fragment of joy and thankfulness from our lives. 

Amidst this corona chaos, I've been learning several important lessons related to humility, thankfulness, and repentance. While these qualities may seem independent of each other, I've been experiencing how they intertwine and work together in the process of sanctification (being made more like Jesus). 

"In the same way, you who are younger, submit to yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble". "(1 Peter 5:5)

1. Humility & Thankfulness

Humility and thankfulness come hand in hand. I've always struggled with pride: I was constantly prideful of the environment I grew up in, academic achievements, talents, gifts, language ability, family, and so many things that I actually didn't get it on my own. ALL of the things that I took pride in are blessings from God. It, however, was always so difficult to be humble about these blessings especially when all of these qualities were not evil itself. 

I knew I must be humble, and I tried so hard to be humble by denial and belittling myself. Neither of these things felt like true humility, however, and I was completely lost in my inability to make myself humble. But the Lord was merciful and kind and taught me through a sermon and several occasions, that giving thanks to God is the first step of humility. Giving thanks to God means to let God take the credit of good and beautiful things in life. It is to acknowledge Him and to give Him the glory in any and every area of life. 

2. Humility & Repentance

The good things in life were not the only cause of pride for me. I was prone to take pride (and I still am) in things that make Him sad. It was easy for me to take pride in my past sins. I would tell of all the bad things I did and would glorify my sins before others. I am not proud of this tendency, and I truly, truly want to change. I wanted to stop flirting with sin, and I wanted to stop taking pride in my past sins. But this also was impossible to do it on my own. 

God, who is still merciful and kind to me after all the times I've turned away from Him, had shown me through a series of events and prayers, that repentance is the first step towards humility. Repentance is to admit our sins and ask God to forgive our sins. It is to acknowledge God and His holiness and to see that we are not as good as we thought we were. It is to accept that we are sinful and in need of saving and that Jesus had paid the price for our sins by dying on the cross for our behalf. 

3. The pursuit of humility

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction." (Proverbs 1:7)

Humility is not something that comes from us on its own, but we are given a whole lifetime to pursue humility, to pursue to become more like Jesus. The first step is to fear the Lord. To let God take the credit for all the good and beautiful in life, and to repent before God of all our sins. I want to consciously acknowledge God's goodness and mercy in everyday life and give thanks all day long. I want to repent at the moment on every small occasion where I fall into sin through thoughts, words, and actions. I want the fear of the Lord to become a conscious habit, and to live every moment for Him. Although this won't be easy, and I will definitely fail, I believe in the power of the Holy Spirit to change me and make me more like Him. Do you believe he can change you too?