Counting good things

日本語

「気温が下がって湿気が高いと肌寒く感じるんです。軽めのダウンくらいあると良いと思いますよ。」
台湾在住の通訳WさんとLINE電話をしてから17時間後の、2024年1月4日午前10時25分。エヴァー航空BR0198便は、羽田空港から台北松山空港に向かって飛び立った。三が日を過ぎ帰省する人々なのか、もしくは正月をずらした休暇を楽しむ人々なのか、ほぼ満員状態の機内には、どこか浮き立った賑やかな雰囲気が満ちていた。
窓側の3列シートの通路側の席を割り当てられた私の隣には、夫婦なのだろうか。40後半か50代前半とみえる台湾人であろう奥さんと日本人の旦那さんが、仲良く手を繋ぎながら窓の外を見て日本語で話をしている。

CAがドリンクカートをひいて回ってくると、奥さんがビールを頼むと同時に、入国カードを書くペンが欲しいとCAに尋ねた。CAは慌てて自分の制服のあちらこちらを手で探っている。それを見て、私は反射的に奥さんに向かって「私のペン使いますか？」と尋ねた。彼女は申し訳なさそうに中国語訛りの日本語で「あ、でももうお願いしましたから。ありがとうございます」と笑った。素朴で可愛らしい笑顔をする人だ。CAはようやく胸ポケットの奥に隠れていたペンを見つけ出し、「どうぞ」と彼女に渡した。私と目が合うと、奥さんは再びにこりと笑った。

離陸して2時間ほどした時、奥さんがチラチラとこちらを見ているのに気付いた。目線は私がiPhoneを充電しているモニター下にあるUSBコードの差し口。彼女は何度も自分のコードを自分の席のUSB差し口に抜き差ししては、不思議そうにまたこちらを見ている。その行動ですぐに、充電ができないのだということが分かった。
私は耳にはめていたイヤホンを外し、「これ使います？」と自分の充電コードを差し出す。試したところうまく充電されたようで、「あ、できました、ありがとうございます」と奥さんは笑った。私はグッと口角をあげて親指を立てた。旦那さんと目が合うと、彼もにこりと微笑んだ。イヤホンを耳に戻した瞬間、旦那さんがもう私の耳に聞こえないと思ったのか「いい人だね」と奥さんに言っているのが聞こえた。
それでなんとなく、今日私は幾つの良い事をできるだろうか、と思った。

映画を観終わりモニターを見ると、着陸まで残り1時間半の予定と書いている。残りの時間は本を読もうと決め、座席ポケットにしまっていた読み始めたばかりのマット・ヘイグの「The Midnight Library」を取り出した。

数ページ読み進めた時、突然脳裏に「けいこ先生」という名前が浮かんできた。その名前は、私が小学生の頃の図書室の先生の名前だった。卒業して以来20数年間忘れていたのに。小説が誘発剤になったのだろう。
死ぬことしか考えられない主人公ノラが、子供時代の図書室の先生ミス・エルムと異空間で再会するこの物語は、私が小学4年か5年生の時に学校で体験した孤独な2週間を思い出させた。その時、毎日図書室で話をしたけいこ先生が、私にとって唯一の友達のような存在だった。
私は急に胸が熱くなって、本を閉じた。泣きそうになり、慌てて口を開けてあくびをしたフリをして目頭を指で押さえた。
意味もなく、遠くまで来たな、と思った。

気を紛らわそうと、今日人にした良い事を数えてみることにする。
数えようとして、「良い事」が何かわからなかった。

けいこ先生はまだ生きているだろうか、とモニターの中でカクカクと不器用に動く飛行機の画像を見て考える。
彼女が生きていても、死んでいたとしても、幸せであって欲しい。

けいこ先生が着ていた薄ピンク色のカーディガンを思い出していたら、飛行機は着陸態勢に入り、無事私たちは台北松山空港へ降り立った。

English

"It feels chilly when the temperature drops and the humidity is high. It would be good to have at least a light down jacket."
At 10:25 a.m. on January 4, 2024, 17 hours after the LINE call with Ms. W, our Japanese-Chinese interpreter based in Taiwan, EVA Air flight BR0198 took off from Haneda Airport to Taipei Songshan Airport.
It might be people returning to their homes after the New Year or enjoying a late vacation after New Year's. The cabin nearly occupied was filled with an upbeat and lively atmosphere.
I was sitting in an aisle seat of a three-row window seat, and next to me was a couple, a Japanese husband and a Taiwanese wife who were perhaps in their late 40s or early 50s. They were holding hands, looking out the window and talking in Japanese.

When the flight attendant came with the drink cart, the Taiwanese wife sitting next to me ordered a beer and also asked for a pen to write her entry card. The FA hurriedly started searching her uniform with her hands here and there to look for it.
Seeing this, I reflexively turned to the wife and asked if she would like to use my pen. She apologetically said in Japanese with a Chinese accent, "Oh, but I already asked her for it, so should be fine. Thank you very much." She had a humble, cute smile.
The FA finally found a pen hidden deep in her breast pocket and handed it to her. When my eyes met the wife's, she smiled at me again.

About two hours after takeoff, I noticed that the wife was glancing at my way. Her eyes were on the USB socket under the monitor on my seat where I was charging my iPhone. She repeatedly plugged and unplugged her cord into the socket on her seat, and then looked at my way again curiously. I immediately knew by her behavior that she was unable to charge.
I removed the earphones from my ears and asked if she would like to use mine and offered my charging cord. She said, "Really? Thank you. I'm sorry," and smiled apologetically again. When she tried, it seemed that my cord worked well. I made a big smile and gave her a thumbs up. When my eyes met her husband's over her, he smiled at me as well.
When I put the earphones back in my ears, I heard the husband said to his wife, "She's a good person," probably thinking that I couldn't hear him anymore.
And I wondered how many good things I could do today.

When I finished the movie, the monitor was telling that we had one and a half hours remaining before landing.
Deciding to read for the rest of the time, I pulled out "The Midnight Library" by Matt Haig, I had just started reading, from the seat pocket.

As I read through a few pages, the name "Ms. Keiko" suddenly popped into my mind. That was the name of my school librarian when I was in elementary school. I had forgotten her name for more than 20 years since I graduated. The novel must have been the trigger.

This story, in which the main character Nora, who can only think of dying, is reunited in a peculiar space with her childhood school librarian Ms.Elm, reminded me of the lonesome two weeks I experienced at school in the 4th or 5th grade. At that time, Ms. Keiko, whom I talked to every day in the library, was like my only friend.
I closed the book, my heart suddenly burning. I felt the tears coming. I opened my mouth, pretended to yawn, and pressed the inner corners of my eyes with the fingers.
For no reason, I thought that I'd come so far.

Trying to distract myself, I decided to count the good things I had done today. Though I tried, I didn’t know what good things were.

I wondered if Ms. Keiko was still alive, looking at the image of the plane moving awkwardly on the monitor. Whether she is alive or dead, I hope she is happy.

The plane started preparing to land as I was remembering the light pink cardigan she was wearing, and after a while we landed safely at Taipei Songshan Airport.