Unsatisfied days

So many people have each goals and dreams in their life.

So am I.
I have a lot of dreams, goals, and things to do. It is like ideal of my life, and it takes a lot of time. 

So, I endeavour to achieve it. So as not to regret my life when I die someday. That is why Im in Canada.The days chasing my dream could be happy and satisfied.

But actually it wasn't. I can't satisfied with my days which I had desperately dreamed of.
I disappointed to myself, though, this is reality. I can't deceive myself. 

It might be temporary feeling. I hope it doesn't continue for a long time.

I liked to challenge something. When I talked with foreigners, I couldn't speak English well but it was fun. I tried tell my feelings do something about it. 

Bit now, I avoid to trying. It could be stress for me. Sometimes, I challenge something. But it because I don't want to disappoint to myself. 
I feel I don't want to regret my life.

My expectations for myself makes me stress.

Now, I live to not feel regret in the future. So I may not satisfied with my life. Because life is today. 

　今は頑張り時！将来満足するために踏ん張ろう！ってきっと今まで色んな人に言われてきて、それが自分に染み付いていて、今に満足できない日々を過ごしているとやっと気づけてきた。

　過度な将来の自分への期待のせいで、今の自分に満足できなくて、少しずつ辛くなってきた

　きっと出来たらすごいんだろうけど、出来ない自分も認めてあげられるようになりたいなぁ