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The Evolution of Romantic Love Ideology: What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Once upon a time, love was simple. Well, not really. It’s just that back in the day, people didn’t marry for love. The idea of love as the foundation of marriage? That's actually pretty new. For most of human history, marriage was a social contract, a strategic alliance, or an economic transaction. Sure, people hoped to be fond of their spouse, but the idea of swooning into someone’s arms because of some butterflies in the stomach? That’s more Hollywood than history.

But then came the Romantic era in Europe with all its poets, artists, and philosophers waxing lyrical about passion, soulmates, and true love conquering all. Before long, love became not just a perk of marriage, but the very reason for it. Fast forward to today, and we’ve got an entire industry—from dating apps to bridal magazines—built on the promise that your perfect match is out there, and they’re just one swipe away.

But wait—how did this whole "romantic love ideology" spread across the globe? And why does it still shape how we think about relationships today? Let’s explore this evolution, starting with Japan and working our way through a few other cultures to see how the concept of love, romance, and marriage has twisted and turned throughout history.

Japan: From “Arranged Alliances” to Modern Romance

In Japan, marriage wasn’t historically about romance, either. For centuries, it was about continuing family lineage and securing social standing. Omiai (arranged marriages) were the norm, and love was seen as a happy accident rather than the point of it all. It wasn’t until the late 20th century that the Western ideal of marrying for love became mainstream in Japan.

But even today, Japan’s relationship with romance is a bit complex. On one hand, there’s an obsession with romantic imagery in media—just look at the popularity of romance anime, K-dramas, and even the booming wedding industry. On the other hand, marriage rates are dropping, and more people are questioning whether love is even necessary for a fulfilling life. The once-ubiquitous dream of a white dress and a perfect partner is being reconsidered in a society that’s focusing more on individualism and personal freedom.

Europe: From Strategic Marriages to the Pursuit of Love

Meanwhile, over in Europe, the Romantic era may have solidified love as the ultimate reason for marriage, but for centuries before that, marriage was all about property, power, and politics. Royals married for territory, peasants married for survival, and nobody married for "chemistry." The idea that you should marry someone because you "love" them was laughable.

But once the Romantics got their way, love started to be seen as a magical, transformative experience—something that could lift people out of their everyday existence. It was, quite literally, revolutionary. Suddenly, you weren't just marrying for a dowry; you were marrying for passion, intimacy, and companionship. Well, in theory. Let’s not pretend that these ideals weren’t often crushed by the realities of life, societal expectations, and the pressures to conform.

The U.S.: The Business of Love

Ah, America, the land where love and commerce meet. The U.S. took romantic love ideology and ran with it, turning it into a multi-billion-dollar business. Valentine’s Day? Invented to sell cards and chocolate. Wedding rings? Diamond companies convinced us they’re forever. Romantic comedies? There to sell the idea that you’re just one adorable meet-cute away from finding “The One.”

In America, the ideal of romantic love has become so deeply ingrained in the culture that the idea of not marrying for love seems alien. But, interestingly, Americans are also some of the most pragmatic about divorce. If the love isn’t working out, well, there’s always a lawyer on speed dial. The pursuit of personal happiness often trumps societal pressures to "stay together for the kids."

Global Trends: The Shifting Sands of Love and Marriage

Globally, we’re seeing a trend where romantic love and marriage are no longer synonymous. Many people are opting out of marriage altogether, choosing instead to focus on careers, personal development, or simply the freedom of being single. Some cultures, like India or parts of the Middle East, still hold onto arranged marriages, but even these are becoming more flexible, with an increasing focus on love as part of the equation.

Yet, while love as a reason for marriage may have global appeal, the reality of maintaining that love is becoming increasingly complicated. Rising divorce rates, the pressures of modern life, and the sheer difficulty of finding a partner who ticks all the boxes (emotionally, intellectually, financially, and physically) make the whole pursuit of romantic love seem, well, a little exhausting. In some ways, we’re back to square one: is love the goal, or is it just a happy accident?

Conclusion: What’s Love Got to Do with It?

At the end of the day, romantic love is a bit like the weather—everyone talks about it, but nobody really knows how to control it. It’s shaped our histories, influenced our media, and impacted our personal decisions in ways we don’t always realize. Whether we choose to embrace the romantic ideals of soulmates and "forever love," or we view marriage as a more practical arrangement, one thing’s clear: the evolution of romantic love is far from over. So, where do we go from here? That’s up to you (and maybe your Tinder profile).

【参考】
Maroon 5 - Memories (Official Video)
https://youtu.be/SlPhMPnQ58k?si=-6mA6YkXMOTLXI-a
Calum Scott, Leona Lewis - You Are The Reason (Duet Version) https://youtu.be/ByfFurjQDb0?si=m246ZfNcWZ5chqHX
[和訳] Rise - Jonas Blue ft Jack & Jack
https://youtu.be/aJt_7q-2A8I?si=c5jKzAj-jrGpmBVy

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