【英語】何から得る知識が重要か？

おはようございます。

今日は朝6時に起きて、洗濯・筋トレを済ませてから大学に来て、英語のリスニング教材を1時間、Writingの課題を30分したので気分がいいです。

内容は薄いですが、英語で以下の問いに対するessayを書いたので、読んでもらえたら嬉しいです(添削してもらいたいだけ)。

It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

以下本文

Have you ever met a person who has a variety of knowledge and information and has a lack of result?
Such a one has banal and useless knowledge.
In my opinion, knowledge from experience is a more important source.
There are two reasons for this view.

It is easy for us to access and get knowledge from books in terms of a cost, a chance and so on.
It means that this type of knowledge has no value because everyone all over the world can get this type of knowledge.
In contrast, knowledge from experience have a big value, because only who experiences it can get this type of knowledge.
Actually, we often pay a lot of money to buy books like how-to because it has individual experience by the author.
this is the first reason why I think that we should gain knowledge from experience.

It is difficult for us to use knowledge from books in our real lives because the situation that the author is surrounded differ from our situations.
It means that this type of knowledge is not useful knowledge because, if we have this type of knowledge, we can hardly adjust it to resolve difficulty.
On the other hand, knowledge from experience is working because it is right for me.
This is the second reason why I think we should take a risk to experience something that you want to try.
For these reasons, knowledge from experience is more important than knowledge from books.

思ったより、文字数が増やせないのはなぜなのでしょうか。単純にessayの書き方が分かっていない、書き慣れてないということでしょうか。

良ければそのあたりもアドバイスいただければと思います。