DO what I want to do

Now I think I will study as much as I can, for MORE!

Of course, I keep studying Finnish and keep my eyes on Finland. I'll do that anyway because I have enough reason to do that, but I want to know more so I'll study anything.

Why Japanese people, including me, are so stupid?
Why in Japan, do workers have to work so long illegally and have few paid holidays?
Why in Japan, are there so many racists and sexists especially towards Koreans and Chinese?
Why are there so many Japanese people ignore the government do anything?
Why do I have to strongly be prohibited at anything to drag politic matters into a conversation?
Why do you want ONLY MONEY?
Generally Japanese people are said to be good, but I truly ashamed of ourselves being stupid and evil.

I think Finland is one of the wisest country and they're one of the smartest people in the world, so I want to go there to search for the answer for those questions from them.
So now I feel I have to study more about it for now, studying Finnish at the same time.

I wanted to make it more sure why I'm doing this for now.
Yeah I know I'm the most stupid man. I regularly work more than 12 hours a day and earn less money than my wife does, having few holidays. I know people would say it's 自己責任 because of myself, my doings made this, don't blame the society or JAPAN.
To be frank, I have much to cu*se on you but I don't say that.

I think I might be looking for myself, though I'm already 52, but it's okay. I don't want to die before knowing who I am.
I wrote a blog diary article yesterday in Japanese, that's one of the kind I'm looking for myself.

I was good at studying at school but I was horribly bad at (Japanese?) society and at companies. I love to study so I want to have a dream on studying that I'm good at.

I want to do mostly what I want to do. My life isn't left so long.