始まれば終わるが・・・？

始まれば終わるが、終わらせなければ、終わりにならない。
Once it starts it will end, but if you don't finish it, it's never over.

2022年９月の下旬に生まれて初めての大腸検査、ただ何となく検査を受けておくかの適当な軽い気持ちで、臨んだ大腸検査の結果、直腸ガンが発見されました。
大腸検査を担当していただいた先生が、今すぐに紹介状を書くので早く手術ができる病院に早く行くようにとせかされました。
直腸ガンと言っても自覚症状がなく、食欲もあり至って体調は良好なので、ガンを告知されても何故か冷めている自分、その反面落ち着かない家族とで奇妙な空気が流れていました。
あくる日、手術の可能な病院で受診すると、紹介状をみては、その日にできる検査を行い検査結果、ガンが転移しているか否かで手術か抗がん剤治療のいずれかの治療方針を決定とすることのこと！まるで、死刑宣告でも受けるかのような？どうか、ガンが転移していないで欲しいと祈るばかりでした。
幸運にも転移はなく最短日で翌月11月２日に手術の日取りが決められました。
手術までの約一か月にいくつかの検査の日々、検査の辛さもあってか日に日に不安が増強していきます。
不安な日々、そんなときに、家内がポツリと「手術、始まれば終わるから」そんな言葉が奇妙に安堵したことは今でも忘れません。
手術も無事に終わり幸運なことにステージ１でした。
「はじまれば終わる」の言葉の続きに「自分が終わりと決めなければ終わらない」と付け加えました。

In late September 2022, I had my first colonoscopy, but I was diagnosed with rectal cancer.
The doctor who performed the colonoscopy urged me to go to a hospital where I could have surgery as soon as possible, as he would write me a referral immediately.
Even though I had rectal cancer, I had no symptoms, had an appetite, and was in good health, so there was a strange atmosphere between me, who was somehow calm even when I was told I had cancer, and my uneasy family.
The next day, when I went to a hospital where I could have surgery, they would look at the referral letter, perform the tests that could be done that day, and depending on the test results, whether the cancer had metastasized or not, the treatment plan would be decided, either surgery or chemotherapy!
It was like I was being sentenced to death.
I just prayed that the cancer had not metastasized.
Fortunately, there was no metastasis, and the earliest possible date for surgery was set for November 2nd of the following month.
In the month leading up to the surgery, I had to undergo several tests, and my anxiety increased day by day, probably because the tests were so painful.During those anxious days, my wife suddenly said, "Once the surgery starts, it'll be over," and I will never forget how strangely relieved I felt.The surgery went smoothly and luckily it was stage 1.
After saying "Once it starts, it's over," she added, "It won't be over unless I decide it's over."