2023/06/16 English

BGM: Stevie Wonder - We Can Work It Out

Today I worked late. This morning I made a draft of the presentation for the meeting I would attend on next Sunday. It's about the activities of English I have been doing. For example, I have been writing my journal in English every day. I also attend the English conversation class on Tuesdays, and also attend the meeting in English on ZOOM on Wednesdays. And also I attend various rooms in English on clubhouse spontaneously. In addition to them, I enjoy chatting in English on Discord and MeWe, and write my memo in English for the practice. But I want to say this. I had never been a diligent student in my school days about learning English. When I was a high school student, I thought learning English was basically boring. I strictly believed that it couldn't be related with my life. Of course, people said that we would have to face the globalization. But I thought it was not my issue. Indeed, I went to Waseda but it just meant that I had trained "the English for the exams". It was since my 40s when I started training the "useful/actual" English.

Shiso city, where I had lived since my childhood, is really a rural place. So when I was in my teenage days, it couldn't have any international, sophisticated, and urban atmosphere. And it could be the reason why I couldn't feel learning English was useful/actual. There were few foreign people, so I couldn't enjoy the opportunities of enjoying speaking English. Therefore it could be enough if I train "the English for the exams" enough to enter any universities. I stopped doing practice anymore... But the time changes. Life goes on. When I was 20, in 1995, I watched the website by Motoharu Sano, a Japanese musician I respect, through the computer at Waseda. It was the first contact for me to the internet. At that time, people believed that the internet would connect this world globally, and they talked various dreams a lot. But I was just an idiot so I never thought that learning English could be actual even if that currency of time. Though I even learned English literature, I never did learn "useful/actual" English. I spent my days quite lazily.

After Waseda days, I failed finding my job so spent my 20s and 30s with deep depression. Everyday I had drank a lot of alcohol and thought "I wanna die". "I can't enjoy pleasant things anymore even if I try to live this life"... And since my 40s, I thought it could be a pity to live that kind of terrible days. I decided to quit alcohol and start a new life. I also decided to learn the "useful/actual" English from the beginning as modestly as I can. Through the connection with various people from Shiso International Association, I started those activities I wrote above. But I want to emphasize this. My English is purely, really, very Japanese because I have never studied anything abroad. But this English seems connecting various people and me. Actually, people say that "Your English is cool" and "You are amazing". And now, I speak a lot in English. From lewd topics to political topics... The time is changing. People can change along with that change. Everything flows... like Ryuichi Sakamoto's song.

Thinking these things... Suddenly I thought about "my dream". Yes, "my dream". Even though I can't say that this could become my job or my lifework, I want to become a person who plays the role of "bridge". The "bridge" person who connects the other one who belongs to the different culture and me. It could mean a translator or an interpreter. I want to connect the person who can't use Japanese and the native Japanese. Or I want to help the Japanese who has troubles with declaring their opinions in English. When I was a college student, I enjoyed Masayoshi Son, a charismatic president's presentation. He said to us "Have a dream!". But at that time I thought this. "You are definitely a successful person therefore you can say such an optimistic, proudful thing". And "Throwing away dreams and looking at the real can be a clever way of living". But now, I am interested in that kind of the role of "bridge" and "connector". It can be too much. But I want to declare my dream. How do you think?