Ideal life

Hiii, guys.
welcome to this today's blog, my name is nina. Today's currently Saturday, it's been okay. Nah, lemme be honest, I am actually not okay. I've been thinking a lot about my ideal life and daily life.
And I feel like I have so many things i'm curious about and things I wanna make them come true anytime soon.
But as you know, I'm at uni studying and I live in the UK, so sometimes I speak to myself like you're living in another country which is far from home and you don't have to put a pressure on yourself. But obviously it is excuses. And I hate it. But at the same time, I hate myself not doing something productive.

I'll be twenty-one years old this year. when I was like a high school student, I imagined me twenty-years old would be different and more mature, independent, and responsible, also I thought I'd be more successful by this age. But the reality is not the same as you dreamed about it .

I remember that the life plan that I wrote for future when I was about graduate from JHS, I was so excited just to think about my unknown future. I just had a hope and bright future. I really wish I could go back that time and do it again but in different ways lol
Seriously. I'm not saying that i have regrets in my life so far, just like I learned by myself that things don't go how you want them to be. 

I thought I'd pass the entrance exam for HS and also for Uni too
in Japan, but I didn't. 
I thought uni-life would be fun, productive, and shinier, but actually it doesn't.
I thought I'd be capable enough to do and manage all at once, and keep them under control, but I am not.
I thought I'd save more money, but my money has been running away from my wallet lol

I really want to change the environment when I finish the course which I'm taking right now.
Since last autumn when I just moved from Brighton to Winchester for uni, I've started considering wether my current situation is the best for me, but also how should I make decisions now when I think about the long-term in the future.

Here is the things I'd like to try right now,
-participating in volunteer work taking place in South America for saving animals, and also teaching and helping children 
-learning Italian seriously and going abroad for studying more 
-learning editor skills at school 
-working and learning how to make various coffee(I've already had a experience working at cafe and known how to make them )
but more like professionally
-traveling the world where I've never been to

if I'm being honest, I would leave uni asap, and make an action.
I just wanna know how people make such a big decision when it comes to themself. Like I want to change, but when I think about my future without my parents help, I don't think I can survive. 
I came here by my parents's big support system. Ofc, I studied more than a lot, went through so many difficulties and over came, but idk I'm a mess right now. Idk if I can trust enough myself. As I told you, I don't have any regrets in my life, however I know I could've done better and should've listened to my mom.
Also I've taken on any challenges, but mostly I failed.
I know that I don't have to be a perfect cos I'm young and learning day by day. 

To sum all it up, I believe it's important not to think too much, and make decisions for no one, but for myself. And just go with the flow and everything will be okay somehow.

"I recommend constructing a detailed image of who you want to be and how you want your life to be, down to all the details(/love-life, work, money, your home, day to day life, etc.). Flesh it out fully and let your heart and desires govern the whole thing, don't hold back at all, create your ideal life. And everyday think about it - and feel it. Feel it as if your life is already that way. And make all your decisions according to its ultimate fulfillment. Get in touch with you values, what's really important to you, and let them guide you."

THANK YOU ALL for coming to my page and hope you like it.

Bye bye~
nina