見出し画像

OREO Writing Recommended sightseeing spots in Tokyo


My Recommended sightseeing spot in Tokyo is Sunshine aquarium. Because Sunshine aquarium is beautiful. For example, ceiling aquariums, etc.Also, some time we can enjoy events at the aquarium.For these reasons my recommended sightseeing spot in Tokyo is Sunshine aquarium.

Chat GPT 先生の添削結果

オリジナル
My Recommended sightseeing spots in Tokyo is Sunshine aquarium. Because Sunshine aquarium is beautiful. For example, ceiling aquariums, etc.Also, some time we can enjoy events at the aquarium.So my recommended sightseeing spots in Tokyo is Sunshine aquarium.

添削結果
My recommended sightseeing spot in Tokyo is the Sunshine Aquarium.
This is because the Sunshine Aquarium is beautiful and offers a unique experience. For example, the ceiling aquarium is a standout feature that allows you to see fish swimming above your head, creating a magical atmosphere. Additionally, there are various events held at the aquarium that visitors can enjoy. For these reasons, I highly recommend the Sunshine Aquarium as a must-see sightseeing spot in Tokyo.


主な修正点:

  1. 文法の修正: "My recommended sightseeing spots"を単数形の"spot"に変更し、"Because"を文頭に置かないようにしました。

  2. 表現の強化: "beautiful"という単語をそのまま使いながらも、"offers a unique experience"のような補足で内容を強化しました。

  3. 接続詞の追加: "For example"や"Additionally"などの接続詞を使い、文章のつながりを滑らかにしました。

  4. 結論部分の強化: 再度意見を述べる際に"for these reasons"とし、結論を強調しました。

OREO Writing についてはこちらで説明しています。


いいなと思ったら応援しよう!

この記事が参加している募集