I love you but you love us (a story of love and dreams)

Hello Everyone, I am now writing again here with regards to this new feeling and experience currently I am having.
 
I love him but he loves all of us. Each person in the world has one heart and they say finding the other HALF of your heart is what everyone in this world dreamed.

 
I am sure everyone has been taught that you can only have one partner, there is also this term called soul mate or you should say other half. They say your soul mate is not to be found but it will find its way on to you just be patient. But how would you know if it is your soul mate. Will you feel the burst of feelings, will you feel the love at first sight, or the feeling that will make you happy no matter the situation is.

 
Let me tell you a story that is currently happening in this world and maybe there are others that also feel the same way as me.
 
It started when I have been dumped by my ex-girlfriend by that time; I have spent my 8 years with her and her family. But in just one day she dumped me. I was so sad and lonely even don’t know what to do. As days and weeks goes by I lose hope in getting her back.
 
I pray for happiness, as I wanted to be just happy in the remaining days of my life. Then I met him the guy I became good friends with. We communicate through online since we are from different countries. He is also single like me because her ex-girlfriend leaves him also. As time goes by I feel happiness and a lot of attention to this guy and suddenly I fell in in love with him. Crazy right? Falling in love to a friend you met online and we are the same gender. But I feel happy why not, there is a saying that “Love knows no gender or boundaries”. But he just treated me as a special friend not a boyfriend thing. For me as long as he know I am in love with him it is okay but he said he love me also but he is yet not decided since we are both guys.

 
Then…. Here comes the problem. He met a girl same country with me and the girl says she also love him. He says that he loves us both and don’t want to lose us both. For me it is okay, but deep inside I am hurting. The girl knows about our relationship and she insisted on choosing between us.
 
Here comes the decision, of course he chooses the girl over me. After that the girl contacts me to avoid him totally and respect their relationship and decision. It was so heartbreaking for me but I need to say goodbye to the guy. The guy I loved and I talked and I say my goodbye. After, our talked I cut all ties to him even in SNS accounts.

 
I was so in pain and crying every day, I never thought that parting with him would be so painful. It really hurt in the mind and feelings. One day, he suddenly contacts me in one of my accounts that I forgot to block him and saying sorry. He was been fooled by the girl and now realized that he loves me so much and now agreeing to be my boyfriend. Well of course, he is my weakness, so I agree and said yes to be his official but hidden boyfriend hahaha.. Of course our relationship is hidden from our families and relatives.
 
 
I was happy for us, then one day he said that he will be coming to my country and surprised me. I saw his plane ticket and to my surprise he was really coming. I did preparations but the hardest part is telling to my whole family. Because how would you explain bringing a guy from other country (Japan) and we will be showing sweet things. I admit first to my cousins and aunts and uncles. Luckily they gave me all their support. Then when I show him to my parents, I did not get a response and it’s like my mom walked out in the house after I say it to her.

 
The day arrives, my aunt, uncle and one my cousins come with me to the airport to fetch him. When we arrived I was trying to contact him but we cannot see each other in the airport then my cousin calls that they found him. When I see him in person I was so stunned and amazed on how he looks. I can’t believe that a guy like him falls in love with me. We eat dinner in a nearby restaurant talk a lot with my families and then go straight home. I spend my first night with him in the same room and bed.

During our moments together I discover that he is chatting with a girl, and the girl is stalking my tiktok account and she was disgusted with it. Because she thinks that I was the only one in love with him and I even discovered that she wanted for him to go away from me. She says a lot of bad words to me. I was so crying and when he knows he wanted to leave me because he doesn’t want me to seeing suffer. I told him not to go coz it will make me more suffer and convincing him to stay, and I will forget it all. It was a long challenge and in the end he chooses to leave the girl or just stop communicating with her at the moment.

 
I was happy and feel loved by that time again, I even choose him over the opportunities in work. I would rather stay by his side rather than working in other countries without him. We started our little chicken business and touring other places with him.
 
I thought it was a happy ending already when suddenly I discovered that he is chatting again another girl. And he choose a girl same nationality with me but working in other country. I did feel jealous of course because how can he love another if he has me. But I endure the pain and jealousy; I caught him many times and lie to me many times about the girl.

I know he loves me so much and he proves it to me but I can’t understand why he still loves another. The time he needs to go back to his country came. I was so sad and lonely as I watch him enter the airport terminal. He promised that he will go back for me and for our little business here. I was so crying going back home. When I enter our room that is filled with memories I can’t stop crying so loud like I was never going to see him again. I cried and cried until I fall asleep. He said that he was crying also in the airport.

Currently, we are still chatting and video calling every day, but I know also he still contact the girl in the other country and that girl calls him baby like the way I am calling him but his defense that he just treat him as a friend. But I discover that they are in a relationship as I saw the girls profile proving their relationship online in her one of her stories in Instagram. But I tell to myself no matter happens I believe and trust him that he really loves me and even with other girls around I am the only that is true in his heart.

To be honest, as the title of this article I love him so much and I am sure that he is the one for me but is it possible that his heart also the half of other hearts. As for me if lover is sacrifice, if love is painful, if love has a love of challenges but in the end these things will make your love more stronger and more purer, then I will sacrifice everything I have, I will endure all those pain and I will face all those challenges. Currently my life revolves around him, my future is him, and my dream is to be with him. I do hope that in the end I will not kill myself.

Thank you for reading my story and hoping to have a lot people will be inspired in my story. I am not perfect person so forgive if you think my decisions are crazy but people do crazy things when they are in love right? Hahaha

I BELIEVE THAT IN THE SAYING THAT NO MATTER HOW STRONG THE WIND, HOW HARD IT RAINS AND EVEN HOW DARK IS THE SKY, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SUNLIGHT AND RAINBOW IN THE END.
 
 
 
Tell me if you want me to continue this story. Thanks