藤沢周平エッセー『周平独言』『小説の周辺』『半生の記』ダイジェスト（英語対訳）１１

１１『周平独言』ピックアップ　１１

１１「宮崎先生」

　「賢治。オ、オーギ(扇)か」と言う。すると賢治はむきになって、「オ、オーギでなく、た、ただのオ、オーギ」と言った。そんなふうに、私たちは賢治のどもりをからかっていた」（『周平独言』）家族は、学校の教室の中で声が出ないのを、大変心配したという。特に母親は、「ンださげ、賢治の真似すんなと言ったのに」と周平を叱った。賢治さんのどもりは、周平のいう典型的などもりだった。母親は、周平のどもりがその賢治さんからうつったものと判断した。橋の上でどもる真似をしたからどもりになったのだと信じ、他人にもそう言っていたという。周平本人も、子どもの頃はそう思っていたようだが、後になって、そうではなく、本当の理由は別にあったと気づく。しかし、それは誰に言っても信じてもらえそうにないから、言わなかった。
　「私がいた小学校に、宮崎東龍という若い先生がいた。白皙長身で、スポーツマンだった。鶴岡中学校時代に、短距離で県の記録保持者だったというし、剣道も段位をもっていたようである。ただし癇癪持ちで、学校で一番こわい先生だと言われていた。小学校の二、三年の頃、私たちは高学年の生徒が運動場に並べられ、宮崎先生にひとりずつ頭を叩かれるのを、校舎の後者の窓から覗き見し、ひそかにふるえ上がった。
　先生は一度他校に転任し、また私たちの学校に戻ってきた。そして、五年生、つまり私たちのクラスを受け持つというではないか。それを聞いたときの恐ろしさを、いまも記憶している。五年生になると同時に、私は奇妙などもりになった」（『周平独言』）
　周平は、宮崎先生は万能の、誇るべき担任で、理想的な教師であると認めつつも、大変恐れていた。学校中で、一番こわい先生として知られており、受け持たれている上級生を気の毒に思い、担任でなかった自分たちの幸運を思って、ひそかに胸を撫でおろしていた。
　宮崎先生は、一度転校したあと、今度は周平さんたちの担任として戻ってきた。そのこわさを誰にも、家の者にも話さなかったが、そのかわりにどもるようになったという。
　新しく担任になった宮崎先生は、周平さんのこの奇妙な無言の行が、本を読めないからではなくて、吃音のせいだということにすぐに気づく。
　しかし、指名するのを免除することは無く、時々指名する。指名されれば立って読む姿勢はするのだが、まったく声がでてこない。声がでない周平さんは、そんな姿を同級生の眼にさらしている恥ずかしさに、冷や汗を流しながらだまって立っているだけだった。2,3分もそうして立っていると、宮崎先生は、「やっぱりだめか。出ないか」と落胆したように言い、座っていいと言った。
　それで、周平自身もほっとして座るのだったが、毎日の授業が憂鬱だった。音楽と作文と図画の三科目は好きだった。作文も図画も声を出さなくてもいいし、宮崎先生が朱筆で書いてくれる作文の批評が楽しみだった。また、音楽のときは、何の支障もなく声が出たのだった。
　「ほかの授業時間では、私はクラスの余計者のようだった。私はいつもひとり。クラスメートが活発に手を挙げて答えたり、本を読んだりする授業のざわめきの外に孤立していた。しかもいつ指されるかと、たえずそのことにおびえていた。指されれば、いつものように立つだけのために立つしかないからである」（『周平独言』）
　「教室で声が出ないということは、屈辱的なことだった。本を手に、ただ立っているために立ち上がるとき、私の胸は屈辱でいっぱいだったし、三分ぐらいのその時間が、無限に長く感じられた。初めの頃クスクス笑ったクラスメートは、そういう私にしだいに馴れていったが、私はその屈辱にいつまでも馴れることができなかった。
　私がその頃の子ども一般の読書量をはるかに越える本読みになったのは、多分この屈辱感と無縁でない」『周平独言』》
　この時期、周平の読書量は驚くべきものであった。姉たちのもっていた雑誌、親から買ってもらった本は全て読み、友達からも借りて読み、近所の家に上がり込んでは、読み耽り、鶴岡の図書館にもよく足を運んだ。
　家で読み、学校の休み時間に読み、下校のとき歩きながら読み、授業中にも机の中に頭を突っ込んで読む。級友はそれを「ヒマアレバ、ヒマアレバ」とからかった。ひまさえあれば読んでいるという意味だ。ほとんど活字中毒だという。しかし、その活字中毒を小説好きにし、書くことに興味をもたせたのは、宮崎先生だった。午後の一時間を使って、ビクトルユーゴの「レ・ミゼラブル」を読んできかせたり、作文を書かせたりした。そして、一人一人にその作文を返すとき、末尾に、感想と指導の要点を、朱筆で書いてくれたのだった。周平さんは作文の時間が好きだった。声を出して読まずに済み、感想で褒められることが多かったからだ。
　この宮崎先生との出会いでどもるようになったこと。クラスで孤立し、屈辱感、孤立感の穴埋めをするために本を読んだこと。宮崎先生の国語教育、とくに作文指導の中で、少しずつ書くことに自信がついたことなどで、小説家への道は、宮崎先生によってつけられたのだろう。

11　 "Shuhei’s Monologues" Pickup 11

11 　"Mr. Miyazaki"

　　　"Kenji. Oh, it's Ogi (fan)," he says. Then Kenji turned around and said, ``Oh, it's not O-o-gi, it's just o-o-o-gi.'' That's how we made fun of Kenji's stutter.'' （"Shuhei’s Monologues" ) His family was very worried that he couldn't speak in the classroom at school. In particular, his mother scolded Shuhei, saying, ``I told you not to imitate Kenji, Ndasage.'' Kenji's stutter was what Shuhei called a typical stutter. His mother determined that Shuhei's stutter was passed down to him from Kenji. She believed he stuttered because he imitated stuttering on the bridge, and she told others as well. Shuhei himself seemed to have thought that way when he was a child, but later he realized that this was not the case and that the real reason was something else. But he didn't say it because he didn't think anyone would believe him.
　　　``At the elementary school I attended, there was a young teacher named Toryu Miyazaki. He was tall with white hair and was an athlete. When he was at Tsuruoka Junior High School, he reportedly held the prefectural record in short distances and was also ranked in kendo. However, he had a temper and was said to be the scariest teacher in the school. When I was in the second or third year of elementary school, the older students were lined up on the playground and one by one Mr. Miyazaki slapped them on the head. I peered through the school window and secretly trembled.
　　　The teacher was once transferred to another school and then returned to our school. And he said that he was in charge of the fifth grade, that is, our class. He still remembers his horror when he heard that. As soon as I entered the fifth grade, I began to have a strange stutter." ("Shuhei’s Monologues")
Although Shuhei acknowledged that Mr. Miyazaki was a versatile, proud homeroom teacher and an ideal teacher, he was extremely afraid of him. He was known as the scariest teacher in the school, and he felt sorry for the upperclassmen he was in charge of, and secretly felt sorry for them, thinking about how lucky they were to not be their homeroom teacher.
　　　After transferring schools once, Mr. Miyazaki returned as Shuhei's homeroom teacher. He did not tell anyone about his stiffness, not even his family members, but instead, he began to stutter.
　　　Mr. Miyazaki, the new homeroom teacher, quickly realizes that Shuhei's strange silence is not because he can't read, but because he stutters.
However, he is not exempt from making nominations, and he does so from time to time. If he is nominated, he will stand up and read, but he cannot speak at all. Shuhei, who was speechless, just stood there in a cold sweat, feeling embarrassed that he was exposing himself like that to his classmates. After standing there for a few minutes, Miyazaki-sensei looked disappointed and said, ``Are you sure? Why don't you come?'' and asked him to sit down.
So, Shuhei himself sat down feeling relieved, but his daily lessons were depressing. He liked three subjects: music, writing, and drawing. He didn't have to speak aloud when writing or drawing, and he looked forward to Miyazaki-sensei's critiques of his essays written in red. Also, when it came to music, I could hear my voice without any problems.
　　　“At other school hours, I felt like an extra person in class. I was always alone and isolated outside the hustle and bustle of class, where my classmates were actively raising their hands to answer questions or read. Moreover, I was constantly afraid that someone would point at me at any moment. If someone pointed at me, I would have no choice but to stand just to stand as usual.'' ("Shuhei’s Monologues")
　　　“Not having a voice in the classroom was humiliating. When I stood up to just stand with my book in hand, my heart was filled with humiliation, and the three-minute period was full of humiliation. It felt like an infinitely long time. My classmates, who had laughed so hard at the beginning, gradually got used to me, but I couldn't get used to the humiliation forever.
The reason why I read far more than the average child at that time probably had something to do with this sense of humiliation." ( “Shuhei’s Monologues")
During this period, Shuhei's amount of reading was astonishing. He read all the magazines his sisters had, and all the books his parents bought him, borrowed them from his friends, read them at his neighbors' houses, and often visited the library in Tsuruoka.
　　　He reads at home, during recess at school, while walking on his way home from school, and during class with his head stuck on his desk. His classmates teased him, saying, "Himaareba, Himaareba." It means that he reads it whenever he has free time. He is almost addicted to print. However, it was Mr. Miyazaki who turned the print addict into a lover of novels and made him interested in writing. He spent an hour in the afternoon having him read Victor Hugo's ``Les Misérables'' and have him write an essay. When he returned the essays to each student, he wrote in red at the end his impressions and the main points of his guidance. Shuhei liked writing compositions. He didn't have to read it aloud and was often praised for his impressions.
　　　 He started stuttering after meeting Mr. Miyazaki. He read books to fill the void of feeling isolated, humiliated, and isolated in class. Through Mr. Miyazaki's Japanese language education, especially his composition guidance, he gradually gained confidence in writing, and Mr. Miyazaki likely set him on the path to becoming a novelist.　（To be continued）