Meet the team! - Yuka, who started running first.
MarMar is a non-profit organization that focuses on providing childcare support for foreign residents in Japan, aiming to "create a more diverse and inclusive society so that everyone can express their individuality, accept each other, and shine together". The group hopes to make a difference in the world by realizing diversity and inclusion in child-rearing, which is directly related to the future. We also provide various consultation services and accompany people going through procedures at city hall and other places in Japan.
Our organizing members are the drive and fortune of the group.
Meet our members and know their backgrounds and charms!
The first member is our representative director Yuka.
Yuka
Founder and representative director of MarMar.
She manages and leads projects of the group, and works as a member of a design consulting firm in Tokyo after her careers in education and MICE industries. She lived in U.S., Brazil, and different regions in Japan due to her father's occupancy.
[ What she likes ] learning, drinking, exercise, travel, interior design and art
[ What she speaks ] Japanese, English, Portuguese, and very little French
Start of the start
Q: You started MarMar because you were "confused" about your own parenting?
Yes, that was the start. I gave birth to a boy and a girl. Until the first baby, my son appeared in front of myself and in my life, I could somewhat imagine what it would be like. But the parenting process that began from there was quite different from what I had imagined and it was, filled with tough challenges and emotions.
I had never experienced my day being so "not as it should be".
Without any practice, we are suddenly at the forefront of the field.
24 hours a day, no breaks. There are no boundaries, and even though it doesn't feel like the day is over, another new day is there.
Still, parenting is hard, happy, and wonderful no matter where you are. Feeling this way, I sought advice and help from midwives and public health nurses when I needed it, and was supported and encouraged by my mom and dad friends.
Then one day, it came to my mind.
I was born and raised in Japan, but raising a child here has been such a challenge for me. I was so nervous about raising my child. I wondered, "what would happen if I raised my child in a foreign country and didn't understand the language? What would happen if I had to learn unfamiliar customs?"
So I asked some of my close midwives and did some research. Apparently, there is no systematic support for foreigners in my city, and the support depended on individual efforts and kindness.
I felt that was too disheartening.
In my previous works, I had chances to join international conferences on infant mental health and literacy programs for mothers in developing countries. When a mother is unstable, the whole family becomes unstable. It becomes challenging. I had my own reflections and realizations.
Also, I remembered that when I lived in a foreign country, small help from local people meant a lot.
A "major setback" at age 15.
Q: Did you live abroad for a long time?
No (laughs); I only lived in the U.S. for a year when I was 15 and in Brazil for a year when I was 19. The time in the U.S. was a huge setback and turning point for me. The misery and frustration of not being able to understand the language. Failures and confusion that came from differences in cultures and systems. Interactions with people from diverse backgrounds and the help I received. All of these things left an imprint on me as an adolescent.
First experience of discrimination
Q: Were there any experiences that had a special impact?
It happened in a parking lot of a shopping mall in U.S.. A little black boy suddenly said to me, "Go to China! Go to China!"
I was startled, but he kept saying it for a while.
"I am not Chinese, you are wrong." This was the first thing in my mind. But more than that, frustration and anger at discrimination, and for suddenly being denied just because of my East Asian appearance. His skin color was that of people with the history of being discriminated. And now he is doing the opposite to me. This idea is just my own preconception and I regret this now. But at the time, I was pretty shocked.
Q: So it was your first experience of "being discriminated".
Yes. Additionally, he did not want to face me and say it. Given his young age, I think it was more of an imitation of an adult than his own idea. He was imitating a sight or word he had seen or heard somewhere before. And he only saw me as an "Asian woman". They rejected me and treated me rudely based on my appearance alone, without any regard to who I was inside. I was also filled with frustration at my inability to say anything in response.
Each one of us is different. No being is irreplaceable. Especially the color and appearance of a person's skin, eyes, hair, and culture are connected to their family and history. No one can deny that. I have come to think this way after making friends of various appearances and backgrounds, on top of this feelings I had when I was discriminated.
Q: MarMar embraces different languages and cultures. Do your own experiences have anything to do with it?
When I was living in the U.S., I was also crushed, or almost crushed, by the inferiority complex of not being able to speak English (laughs).
Because I didn't understand the language, I was full of anxiety and failure at school, and that made me deny myself. After a few months, I somehow managed to recover and came to a point where I was able to open up and say, "I am who I am, including the things I can't do" (laughs).
And later in Brazil, I had opportunities to meet many Japanese descendants who inspired me to think about what culture means to me.
Language and culture are connected to our identity, confidence, and pride. I believe that we should be able to live our one and only self with dignity and without anyone denying it.
Self-blame in a foreign country
Q: Is this idea connected to the activities of MarMar?
Yes, our vision is their reflection.
Living in a foreign country involves failures due to cultural and social differences, and on top of that, the difficulties of raising children can easily lead to self-denial. Especially when children are young, parenting is a series of things that do not go right, and mothers tend to blame themselves. I was the same way.
So, if there is anything I can do now, raising my child at the same time in Japan, I will support foreign moms, of course local moms too, in whatever way I can. Supporting mothers in particular will support their children, their families. The foundation of the future is the family. I want to make the future, in which my children will also live, as bright as possible. With this in mind, we started our movement. That was the start of MarMar.
The start
Q: That's a passionate thought. Your children were small, but you started actions right away?
Yes, I did. Once I made up my mind, it was quick. I am impatient (laughs). However, I was just moving as fast as I could. At the time, my first child was 3 years old and my second child was 1 year old.
Q: You started alone？
Yes. By that time, I finally came to accept that 99% of the things in parenting go wrong, or in ways that I do not expect. So if I kept waiting for the right time or setting up a system until things start to go right, I would never get anything started. So I made it a point to take action first. Looking back, I see my forward-looking nature. .... I am truly blessed with good fortune and encounters, as members who sympathize with me have gradually come together.
Connecting with municipal health nurses
At the beginning of our activities, we first started to distribute information on parenting events in Kamakura on Facebook, both in plain Japanese and English. First of all, we need the information of these, otherwise we could not get there. After that, we met and connected with public health nurses in Kamakura, and we were able to move forward in cooperation. (You can read about this process on ↓P14-)
Q: What was your most impressive activity so far?
A foreign mother who participated in the event said, "Since I started attending your events, my anxiety about raising my child in Japan has disappeared. I can ask for help and advice when I need it. I felt that I would be okay as long as I did that." I was sobbing inside, thinking that what we do is doing a right thing for the future.
The dream
Q: What dreams do you want to achieve ?
To naturally expand the "scope" of diversity for both adults and children through the interaction between foreign families and Japanese families. From there, we can be more accepting and "loose" in a positive sense, both to ourselves and to others. Japanese view of parenting and the environment should be a little more relaxed. I hope that the we will live in a kinder world than it is now, where people can relax and make their charms to their fullest.
Thank you for your read!
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