Do I Stay or Do I Go?

In the era of the pandemic, one of my biggest questions have been "Where should I live right now?"

When covid-19 started to become widespread in the world, I was on my flight from France to Japan. I was ready to spend the next 6 months interning at Mitsubishi FUSO in Kawasaki, Japan. Just a couple months later, my university in the United States asked all their students abroad to come back. With the situation becoming worse (ie borders closing), they were worried that we would have trouble leaving the country later on.

But I was given a choice, and I decided to be risky and stay in Japan. Six months later when my internship ended, my university announced that all classes would be online. I decided that instead of returning to the US, I wanted to stay in Japan. (And with the end of my internship, I was no longer required to stay in Tokyo, so I decided to move to Osaka to see how life was there).

Since I wasn't allowed to find a new job with my visa status, I realized I was running out of money and decided to fly back home. But then I asked myself "Which home?"

My friends, dad and siblings are in the United States, but my family (mom, grandparents, cousins) who I don't see often are in France.

At the time, the death rate in the US was incredibly high, so I decided to return to France.

It has been 4 months since then. Before, I thought that life would be more free in France, but now there are many rules here.

In France, there is curfew from 18h and restaurants, theaters, and museums are all closed. Some cities are under full confinement on weekends now too.

In the US, there is no curfew, restaurants are open, life is almost normal (but many are still dying).

But even with stricter rules, I want to stay in France. Here, I get to see my grandparents that I used to only be able to see for one week every year. But now, I get to spend months with them --cooking with It's truly a peaceful life. It's true that we aren't able to eat out at a restaurant, but instead I get to bring the restaurant experience home by cooking them meals I learned in Japan.

I also miss my friends back in the US, but with video calls I don't see much of a difference. Even if I was in the US, I would want to be safe and not meet them in person, so video call is my best option right now.

I don't know how much longer I will be in France, I don't know when I will be able to go back to Japan, and I don't know if I will ever return to the US.

And yet, I am happy with how things are right now.