Kokoro by Natsume Soseki (translated by Edwin McClellan)

Book review: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Alyssa's review of Kokoro

I've read somewhere that studies prove that we are inclined to dislike others more after we hurt them because we are unconsciously driven to distance ourselves emotionally. This is because our minds try to reduce the conflict between our actions and our beliefs. The internal conflict is like, "Why did I do this to this person?" Then our minds try to justify it by saying, "It must be because I really don't like her/him!" and/or "She/He deserves it!" That's when we start disliking them more. Otherwise, we will be forced to think that maybe we're not such good people or maybe we acted unfairly and unjustly.

This principle works in reverse, too. We like people more after doing something nice for them. When a person gives, she loves the person she gives to even more—and so she plants love, and it grows.

"Every positive emotion stems from giving and flows outward from us to others, whereas every negative emotion revolves around taking from others."