My Unfinished Business
Not too long ago, I was invited to be a guest speaker at a class in Rikkyo University. I was to discuss my career, as did several other women that were invited to this class to speak.
The class consisting of more men than women, was an English study class of the Faculty of Economics. Their assigned reading was "Unfinished Business: Work, Women, and Family" by Anne-Marie Slaughter.
I had read Anne-Marie Slaughter's much debated article "Why Women Still Can't Have it all" in The Atlantic, when it came out in 2012, during the time I was working at the Consulate in Los Angeles. I belonged to the camp that was somewhat annoyed at her outlining what seemed like First World Problems.
The piece explained why she was leaving the State Department at the end of her term as the Director of Policy Planning, under then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Slaughter was going back to New Jersey to her tenured position at Princeton University, where her husband, also a Professor, awaited. She chose to be with her teenage sons that needed attention.
Granted, I never had children. I was a mid-level official with Japan's Ministry of Foreign Affairs at the time Slaughter published the piece. Though I had an understanding husband, I lacked in ambitions to excel and to lead.
Yet, I still touted "Lean in" by Sheryl Sandberg, recommending to read the book, or at least watch the TED clip, to my junior colleagues at now the Consulate in Chicago to which I was transferred a few years after.
Fast forward ten years, when I was invited to address the class, I had already left the Ministry to be at the American Chamber of Commerce in Japan to lobby for global market standards. I, too, had left the world of Diplomacy, reflecting on life and family.
How can I add value in the 90 minutes I was given? I thought to myself. Discussing my career trajectory would mean little to the Juniors and Seniors in the class.
Instead, I focused on one Chapter in the book about how to train your Boss. I wanted to give them a set of tools, rather than my story.
My talk centered around "How you Work - Managing Up and Training your Boss," giving the students a chance to reflect on how they wanted to live and work.
Slaughter's book was about the choices in Life and the toll it can take to constantly be Leaning in. Chapter 10 of the book focused on setting boundaries to respect your life and the job, and reminding the Boss to do the same.
Manage Up, Train your boss - the case of Hannah Rosen
Set limits and make it clear, that while you get the important things done and that you will go the necessary mile when necessary, you are not prepared to sacrifice other important matters in your life
• Filter requests and prioritize Tasks
• Signal that you can be counted on in a crunch.
• Help your boss to become a healthier and productive person.
• Remind gently that you are human e.g. "If I can't get to everything, what is most important?"
• Working continually in crisis mode takes a toll.
• Adrenalin rush to get things done in a short period of time.
At the end of class, one student who seemed to talk more with his eyes than with his voice, approached me and the main lecturer. While some of his classmates were vocal and engaged in the discussions, he listened intently and said very little.
He asked in his soft voice how best to learn English. I gave him my usual pointers: do what you like, learn on the go.
The student looked me straight in the eye, took both my hands and gave me a soft handshake, as he said "Thank you".
Somehow, I was floored.
I know now that my unfinished business is to give back to the next generation.
Please let me know if I can be put to use!
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