Essay-Finding My Voice: Balancing Manners and Self-Respect

I feel that when I stay quiet and reserved, people sometimes blame me for others' behavior. For example, if a colleague at work is being loud and disruptive, I might be seen as at fault just for being present. Or, they might assume I'll obediently accept anything and end up blaming me, saying, "He’s the one who said it all."

Just remembering those situations makes anger well up inside me, and I often think that being alone is easier.

How can I avoid being disrespected? Is it bad to joke around when I'm with a group? Or should I take a strong stance and say something like, "You owe me one," when I take the fall for someone else?

Anyway, what I feel strongly is that I value good manners, and I want to be around people who understand that. People who think I'm weird and find it amusing are not my friends. Unfortunately, such people do exist. They are very few, and I don't think you're one of them, so don't worry.