Recovery

Finally my body awakes and start responding to my desire. After a long dark days in the bed. Everything feels so special and precious.
Just saying hei to my colleague at a chicken shop I work part time and getting a free chicken sandwich fills me with joy, even though I am not that close to her.
Walking on the street checking girls feels like a mutual act. They are definitely! checking back on me cause I am so confident and handsome, not like an ugly zombie barely moving his body.
Buying a cup of ice latte feels different. The voice that comes out of my order is so confident and robust, I realize myself.
Fulfilling my vocal practice routine makes me realize I have gone so far. And yet I realize I was so caught up by something while practicing. But now I am purely enjoying the fact that I am able to have a voice.
Everything fills my energy up and make me feel like I am ready to run again.
Every time I recover from sickness I realize, the life I have is beyond amazing. I own so many things and I realize the way I see the world can change everything. But nothing changed as a matter of fact.
I just have always believed that my life has got to be better.
I have to get a girl to be happier. And I don't.
I have to be successful musician. And I am not.
I have to have smoother skin. And I don't.
I have to sing better, higher. And I don't.
I have to be more social. And I am not.
I have to have more friends. And I don't.
I have to be more stable. And I am not.
I have to be better at Norwegian. And I am not.
I have to be physically stronger. And I am not.
I have to be tidier. And I am not.
I have to sleep shorter. And I don't.
I have to be more efficient. And I am not.

And I get only fulfilled after recovery cause that is the only way that automatically makes you realize that you have everything.
You can't know that you have everything before you lose everything.

Is that so? The voice tells me. The words feel so convincing, but don't get tricked by them.
You have freedom as to what you believe. You can believe to be happy, you can believe to be handsome. you can believe to have everything, and you actually do.
Being sick isn't that bad after all. If this helps me learn this obvious yet meaningful lesson, which I will be keep learning throughout my life journey.