英検準1級意見論述ライティングの生徒解答と添削例

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英検準1級　意見論述ライティング予想問題①

TOPIC
Agree or disagree: Should schools introduce more online learning?

POINTS
Access
Engagement
Technology
Interaction

高校1年生の生徒さんの解答

I agree that schools should introduce more online learning. There two main reasons for this opinion.
Firstly, online learning can save times commuting. With the internet, individuals can learn wherever they want. These things can increase their study time and improve their efficiency. Studying at home or somewhere you like allows you to study in a relaxed environment. This would be good for schools and good for individuals.
Secondly, nowadays, the technology of the Internet has improved and it has become very easy to use.  Students can take online classes and submit homework online. It's convenient to be able to look up reference books online without having to carry a heavy baggage.
In conclusion, I believe that online learning has a positive impact on us.

医塾島田の添削

❶“There two main reasons for this opinion” → “There are two main reasons supporting this view”
理由: 動詞 “are” が必要です。また、“supporting this view” の方が意味が明確で、読み手に意見を強調しやすい表現です。

❷ “save times commuting” → “save commuting time”
理由: “time” は時間の意味で使う時は、不可算名詞なのでtimesではなくtimeを使います。また、"通勤(のための)時間"という意味として語順を並び替えました。

❸ “With the internet, individuals can learn wherever they want” → “With internet access, students can study wherever they prefer”
理由: “internet access” と “students” を使うことで、オンライン学習の場面により適した表現にしました。

❹ “study in a relaxed environment” → “study at home or in a comfortable environment fosters relaxation and focus”
理由: 具体的な環境の例を追加し、表現を強化しました。

❺ “good for schools and good for individuals” → “advantageous for both schools and students”
理由: 「advantageous」の方がフォーマルで適切な表現です。

❻ “the technology of the Internet has improved and it has become very easy to use” → “the technology of the Internet has improved, and it has become very easy to use”
理由: “and” で結ばれる前後の内容が独立した文なので、コンマが必要です。

❼“look up reference books online without having to carry a heavy baggage” → “access reference materials online without carrying heavy books”
理由: “baggage” は不可算名詞であり、“a” は不要です。また、“reference materials” と “heavy books” に置き換え、文脈上自然な表現にしました。

医塾島田が書き直した英文

I agree that schools should introduce more online learning. There are two main reasons supporting this view.
First, online learning can save commuting time. With internet access, students can study wherever they prefer, which can increase study time and improve overall efficiency. Being able to study at home or in a comfortable environment fosters relaxation and focus. This benefit is advantageous for both schools and students.
Second, advancements in internet technology have made online platforms easy to use. Students can attend classes, submit assignments, and access reference materials online without carrying heavy books. This level of convenience is especially helpful in managing study resources effectively.
In conclusion, I believe that online learning positively impacts students by enhancing convenience and productivity.

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