The Unsolicited Job Offer: A Lesson in Boundaries and Liberation
Previously posted, I worked at a small video game company called Pixel Dreams, Inc., run by my lifelong friends Sandy and Stan. Despite our bond, I faced financial struggles as an independent contractor, culminating in 2016 when they halved my pay without explanation. Feeling trapped by loyalty, I eventually left for a better opportunity at Cosmic Games. Years later, Sandy and Stan reached out for help with a data transfer, framing it as a personal favor but offering only $40 an hour for my expertise. This encounter forced me to confront the complexities of our relationship and my self-worth, leading me to realize that it was time to prioritize myself. The story that follows continues this journey of navigating friendship, loyalty, and professional boundaries.
It had been about a month since I sent my last email to Sandy—a carefully crafted, polite, professional message where I told her that I couldn’t help them with their computer issues anymore. I’d been too busy with work, personal projects, and, honestly, I was just done with playing tech support. I figured that was the end of it. Maybe she was upset, maybe surprised, or maybe she'd just quietly accept it and move on. Either way, I wasn’t expecting to hear from her.
But, of course, I was wrong.
Out of nowhere, I get this message from Sandy. Not a reply to my email, mind you—because, why would anyone actually acknowledge what I said directly? That would be too simple. Instead, she forwarded me a completely random job posting. Yes, you read that right: a 12-month contract position for some role that had absolutely nothing to do with what I do. It was one of those jobs with a title that made me think, What even is this? Her message? “In case you're interested.” Oh, and just to top it off, she casually mentioned that they had solved their computer problem without me.
Now, let’s pause for a second. I had never mentioned I was looking for a job, nor had I hinted that I was dissatisfied with my current role. So why, exactly, would I be interested in this out-of-nowhere position? Was this her way of saying, “Look, we don’t need you anymore, but here’s a job you didn’t ask for”? Or—and this is my favorite theory—maybe her “reply” button on Outlook was broken. You know, because I’m not helping her with IT anymore.
I sat there, staring at the email, wondering what on earth was going on. Had she mixed me up with someone else? But no, it was definitely addressed to me: “Hideki—FYI.” Okay, so instead of replying to my email where I politely explained my unavailability, Sandy decides to hit me with an unsolicited job offer for something I had absolutely no interest in, as if that was somehow the next logical step.
And even if the job had been in my field—something remotely relevant—it still would’ve been insulting. The problem wasn’t just the random job; it was the very act of sending an unsolicited job posting as a “response” to my message. It was like she was saying, “Oh, you’re too busy to help us? Well, maybe you should find a new job.” The fact that it had absolutely nothing to do with my skills just made it even more absurd.
At that point, if I were in her shoes, I would’ve done one of two things: either send a quick “Thanks for everything!” even if I didn’t completely mean it, or just shut up and let it go. That’s what I would’ve done. But nope, instead I get this weird job ad, paired with the “by the way, we fixed the computer without you” note—like that was supposed to be a mic drop moment or something.
It was like offering someone a map when they’ve already told you they know exactly where they’re going. Not only was it unnecessary, but it was also completely out of touch. Here I am, trying to respectfully step away from being their go-to IT person, and she responds with something that misses the point entirely.
But then it hit me: this was actually a blessing in disguise. The silver lining here was that I no longer had to feel guilty about backing out. This random, bizarre job ad and the casual “we handled it without you” comment gave me the stark realization of just how toxic the relationship had become—or maybe it was her true colors showing, and I was only now seeing it clearly.
In any case, I was done feeling bad. I wasn’t the villain in this story. Stepping away wasn’t just the right decision—it was long overdue. And in a strange way, Sandy had actually done me a favor by sending that ridiculous job posting. It was the final push I needed to realize that I was finally free from this one-sided relationship. No more guilt, no more obligations. Just peace of mind and the satisfaction of knowing I had walked away from something that wasn’t serving me anymore.
So, maybe her “reply” button is broken. Or maybe, deep down, she just can’t handle the fact that I’m no longer there to fix it. Either way, I’ve moved on—and that feels pretty great.