My weekly output (Week Feb 5)

Studies
I enjoyed today's lecture on private sector and aid 
With my strong passion for working in the field of private sector development, his critical view on the role of the private sector in international development aid made me question my career for a second…
However it made me realise that either government or private actors alone can tackle poverty alleviation and international development. 
What is important is to be aware of the inherent limitations of both actors and how each actor can maximise their role.  
Some of the topics that sparked my interest was the concept of "Philanthrocapitalism (Philanthropy + private sector's donations)" and how it has been cricised for its self-interest. Also the lack and challenge of evidence, especially in assessing the long-term impact of the intervention / aid. What are the main challenges in assessing the long-term impact and how could thoese be overcome? 
The Business as a Development Actor module covered Market Systems and the Global Value Chain. Market system is a dynamic entity that involves lots of different actors. Global Value Chain was a very interesting topic as well, imagining how much GVCs could be improved to maximise the developmental outcomes and bringing systemic changes.

• Philanthrocapitalism - too narrow and technocratic to make fundamental changes

• Partnership is important considering that either state or business alone cannot ahieve systemic changes 

Personal Life
I am again starting to learn how to make myself happy while my partner is absent. I tend to compare with others just by seeing a group of friends chatting or checking instagram stories feeling something that I am missing out. It is not good for my mental health. I am use to navigate my mind to be in a "lack" mindset, that I am lacking something. Instead of doing that, I want to practice to be in a "what-I-have" and "I-am-blessed" mindset. For this, I need daily meditation, cutting down/cutting off my daily social media consumption. Also actively making time for people that I want to spend amidst my busy schedule. There is always something that I can do. 

Career
There more I look at job posting, the more I know what I want. I need to keep doing this. I am also now in a mindset that I will eventually get there - working in the UN for international development. I do not know when, but I know I will get there eventually. Now is the time to really prepare myself on which jobs I am applying and what career path I am taking after graduation. I will constantly look for job posting on a daily basis and take into actions (applying for jobs and connecting with people)

Relationship
I cried like crazy this week, having a lot of emotional swings.
I realised that I have been hiding and opporessing the discomfort that I felt to my self to keep the peace. This is what I have been very use to it and I feel comfortable to do this. Although it was very uncomfortable, I finally had the courage to share how I have been feeling with my partner. I realised that I was expecting my partner to always be perfect but just like I am not perfect and not all humans are perfect, I cannot expect my partner to be perfect as well. So what is important is to keep communicating with each other openly, so that we as a couple has a space for each other to acknowkedge the shortcomings and learn from each other, and always make sure that there is a safe space to share anything. There are a lot of uncertainties especially with my partner's job and my own career path after graduation. We might be apart anytime soon. There is a huge dylemma that I want to stay with my partner but also I do not want to compromise chasing my dreams. I always thought I can only choose either relationship or career, but as I tell to anyone, nothing is impossible once you believe that it can happen. So I want to make both my relationship and career thrive and be an example that you do not have to compromise either of them. I want to be the example and I want to empower myself. I cannot wait to build this relationship stronger.