The day of 53 in Seattle

Hi  I'm Yuki.

I was so lazy not to write this note for about 40 days.

This time, I want to restart this note about my life in the US.

I feel difficulty speaking English now, and to make it easy to express 

myself in English, I think it necessary for me to keep the diary.

Please give me one more chance to keep the diary. 

I will be glad if you become a enthusiastic reader of this note.

Today I watched "Fight Club". 

This is my favorite movie and I have watched this three times.

If you have never watched it, you must stop reading this note and start 

watching it. And I will talk about the content, If you do not want me to 

reveal the content, I recommend you not to read this note any more now.

I like this movie because the main character is similar to what I used to be 

and I feel sympathy with him. The main character had insomnia and He 

unconsciously came to have multiple personality disorder. When he 

realized he had it, his other personality said that he was created by him 

because he was his ideal self. He denied his other personality at first 

and  tried to stop him, but in the end, he accepted both of his 

personalities, the ideal one and the original one he did not like before, 

and merged them into one. 

In the past, I was not confident of my conversation skills in Japanese. 

I wanted to be funny. 

I wanted to make people laugh, but I was not good at it.

Just after entering the University, I met a man.

 He was the funniest man I had ever seen. 

I wanted to be funny, so I started to imitate his way of conversation.  

I was becoming more and more funny day by day. 

I noticed I started to change. I became so uneasy.

I felt as if I was losing my original identity. 

I thought my new personality was not suitable to me because I was not 

funny originally. When people said to me that I was funny, I denied it in my 

heart.

 One day I came not to be able to say jokes.  I worried that I became a 

boring men again. I tried to make people laugh many times only to fail.

I stopped forcing me to try to be a funny man and started accepting the 

original personality. After that, I got a good personality by merging the 

new funny personality and the original, boring but kind, personality.

I became a funny man with good points of the original personality.

In this point, the main character is very similar to what I used to be.

"Fight Club" is interesting because we can learn how our Identity change 

and how we manage it by watching it. I recommend you to watch it.

This is all. See you next time.