I've decided to leave my notes for just in case

To all the people I care about and love,

Since there's no guarantee that I will live for the next 3 years or let's say there's no telling who's gonna die when (which is what I always keep telling myself and that's why I wanna tell you guys everything I can at the moment), I've decided to leave my will as a note. 

Please read this after I die.

So, here it goes.
(and let me say it was way easier to write in English, especially this kind of emotional stuff,
so there might be some parts that don't make sense or wrong grammar and vocabs, but plz be generous about that. thanks:))

For the start, I'd like to say thank you to all of you guys for letting me have you in my life and letting yourselves have me in your lives. 

As you know, my name's Ayano, it's written like this "彩乃" in kanji which means "to color people's lives and to be colored by them."
I really like my name because this is exactly what I want my life to be.
To have people in my life and let them color mine, and to let them have me in their life and color theirs. 

This is what my parents wished me when I was born and it's definitely the best gift I've ever got for my entire life and thank you so much, mom and dad, for giving me such a wonderful gift. (and of course, giving me birth as well)

I hope, my life represents and captures my name.
I hope, I colored your life as many times and colors as I can, as deeply as I can, and as vividly as I can.
Not to mention, I always hope your life would be colorful as it can be, though it's a bit sad that I can't do that anymore in the future.  

but it's OK.
It really is, 'cause I think (and wish) I've done everything I could already, and I'm sure you're gonna color others' lives for me from now on, innit?
I'll leave it to you guys and keep my eyes on you!

I really, really, honestly, genuinely, truly, completely love you.
I have and I will, for sure and for good.
I'll always hope for your happiness, be watching you, listening to you, and be your side.
Don't forget, I'll always stand guard of you and be your big fan no matter what.

Please,
・Don't forget to look up and follow your heart.
   ("Our choices show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.")

・Keep asking yourself who the fu*k you wanna be and never forget to remember who the fu*k you are.

・Enjoy the ride of your journey as much as you can, live as if you'll die tomorrow, and learn as if you'll live forever.

・Let people know how much you love them and they mean to you by any means necessary.
(I know the biggest regrets when we die would be like "why the hell didn't I tell him/her how much I loved him/her when I could?"
This is the last thing that I want you to feel 'cause I know it sucks! 

If you luckily have people who you care about and cherish, tell them you love them. It's gonna be their protection forever even when you're not around them and after you're gone.)

・Girls, when you're sad, add more fu*kin' lipstick. Don't give in.
    Have a stiff upper lip though it's totally ok to have times you can't.

I'll be happy to see that from above.

Oh, I'll really miss you all.... :(
Please remember me sometimes and could someone plant a tree for me?
as a symbol of Ayano and as proof that I indeed was here. it can be anywhere but I like it being on a hill, so thank you.
Visit me sometimes and talk to me, huh?
I'll always welcome.

You guys, I love you from the bottom of my heart.

Walk tall!

Love, Ayano
16/11/'20