ライブ配信に挑戦してみて思うこと。自意識の進化を楽しめたもの勝ち。

テレビを部屋に置かなくなって5年。最近見る動画といえば、もっぱらyoutubeやFacebookの配信だ。旅館などで久しぶりにテレビを見ると、「うわ、ホンモノのテレビだ！」と新鮮な感動がある。

子どものころから大好きだったNHKスペシャルを見たいなと思うときはあるのだけれど（NHKの「映像の20世紀」は、私の人生に大きな影響を与えた素晴らしい番組でした）、再びテレビを買うところまでは至らず。

最近は新聞や雑誌もほとんど読まなくなり、とんと世間の情報に疎くなっている。なので最近のテレビについてとか、マスメディアについてとか、語る資格も知見もない。

ただ、マス・コミュニケーション（不特定多数の人への伝達）について、自分の身近で起きている時代の変化を感じることはある。
メディアの専門家や有識者の方が言い尽くしていることだが、＜個人が世界に発信する＞ことのインパクトを、私自身も身をもって体感しているのだ。

いまやど素人の私でも、携帯ひとつで世界中にライブで動画配信ができてしまう。この20年のすさまじい勢いの技術進歩は、本当に革命的だと思う。

それに伴い、テクノロジーを使う私たちの意識もいやおうなしに変化している。

途中の論証は全部すっとばして結論を言うと、「健全な自意識」というのが私はとても大切だと感じている。

自意識というのは厄介なシロモノで、「こう見られたい」、「こう見られたくない」、「恥ずかしい」、「誇らしい」、「もっと注目されたい」、「絶対に目立ちたくない」etc　
ときに相矛盾するさまざまな感情を引き起こしては、私たちを内側から揺さぶる。

他人の写真や動画に対しては何とも思わないのに、自分のことになった途端、写真うつりがいつも気に食わないとか、動画で自分の声や動きをみると気分が悪くなるとか、穴をほって埋めてしまいたい、燃やしてしまいたい！という極端な気持ちになったりするのだ。

私自身も長年そういう部分があった。死にたくなるというほどのことはなかったけれど、自分の写真を見てはいつも「残念だな」と思い、自己憐憫にひたっていた。

ところが、話をこれまた全部はしょって結論を言うと、私はここ数年で過剰に自己顕示することも自己卑下することもなく、等身大の自分を平穏な気持ちで受け入れることができるようになったのだ。

「私ってイケてる！」「私が世界で一番美しい」とナルシズムに耽溺するでもなく（ある種の「自撮り」に違和感を感じる要因の多くはコレかと）、自分の欠点だけをあげつらうでもなく、当然完璧ではない自分を、そのまま、「そうだよね」と受け入れる。

これは、すなわち「健全な自意識」を持てるようになったということだ。

世界にどう観られるか、ということを私たちはコントロールできない。
変えられるのは「自分をどう観るか（＝自意識の持ち方）」。

それによって自分の在り方が変わり、言動が変わり、世界にあたえる影響が変わり、その結果世界からの観られ方も変わっていく。

「どうせ私なんて・・・」を越えて自分をフェアに見つめることができたとき、「私だからこそ・・・」と意識が切り替わる。

タレント、俳優、アーティストなど、人前で表現をすることのプロフェッショナルの人たちは、もともと人前に立つときの心構え、振る舞い方など、自意識の持ち方についてすごく訓練をしている。

そうではない素人の私たちが、自意識の進化を楽しめたならばとても自由にのびやかに表現していけると思う。

日本一、世界一というレベルの卓越した才能のある”すごい人”ではなくても、ひとりひとりが世界に向かって発信したっていいじゃないか、と。

とるに足らない無名の存在だとしても、
無理に飾り立てることなく、かといって自分の存在を消し去ることもなく
等身大であらわれていき、あらわしていくことが、
実は世界を変えていくことなんだって、みんな気づきはじめている。

私の周りの、特に女性たちが、自らへの手厳しい批判やジャッジを手放して健全な自意識のもとで溌剌と自分を表現していく姿はとても軽やかで、美しく、可能性にあふれている。

今日は、私が続けているArt of Feminine Presence（女性の身体と意識を繋ぎ、可能性を広げていくメソッド）のコミュニティで、リレー形式のライブ配信に参加する機会があった。

自分一人では決してやらないであろうことも、楽しく挑戦することができた。これも、自意識が健全に育ってきたことの成果だと思う。

自分が決して特別に美しいわけでも、特別に面白いわけでもないことは冷静にわかった上で、それでもいいのだ、と自信をもってカメラの前に立てる。

それってけっこうすごいことだな、と思います。

追伸。
今日のライブ配信の様子。相棒のキャリアカウンセラー未緒さんと二人でAFPのプラクティスのデモを張り切ってやっています。ご笑覧くださいませ↓↓

🌹AFPオンラインフェスタ🌹 12/10 15:30 配信... - 「私らしく開花する」AFPJapan・フェミニンプレゼンスー女性が輝く４鐚泣ゃ室/title> 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（了）

＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋
＜こんな仕事＆活動をしています＞
＊2019/12/10時点の情報です＊

◇離婚・パートナーシップ・家族のご相談専門◇
初回のご相談はお電話でどうぞ（ウェブから24時間予約可能）。
自由が丘テミス法律事務所

◇働く女性のプレゼンス（存在感）アップワークショップ◇
Art of Feminine Presence 2020年度連続クラス「新しい時代を生きてゆく私たちへ」／キャリアカウンセラー&弁護士の2人がリードするアメリカ発の最先端の女性向けグループワークです。
・2020/1月開講　自分とつながる。セルフケア編（全5回）
→12/28、1/11 、1/16に体験会＆説明会開催
・2020/5月開講　他者とつながる。パートナーシップ編（全5回）
・2020/9月開講　世界とつながる。キャリア・ライフワーク編（全5回）

◇2019/12/15(日）devadasi studio 年末ショー出演します◇
会場・月見ル君想フ（青山）のウェブサイトからご予約可能ですhttp://www.moonromantic.com/?p=42641

＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋