From Different Worlds to Lifelong Friends: A Decade of Shared Growth
Yesterday, I had dinner with an old friend whom I’ve known since our university days. It’s been more than ten years since we first met, and even now, we continue to share a deep connection despite having walked very different paths in life. Her family is wealthy and fully supported her when she came to Japan to prepare for the entrance exam for a master’s program at one of the most prestigious art universities in the country. She didn’t have to worry about part-time jobs or financial constraints. Her sole focus was on studying Japanese, preparing for the entrance exam, and honing her skills in her major. I must admit, I often envied her freedom to devote herself entirely to her goals without the burden of financial stress.
In contrast, my journey was far less privileged. To avoid placing any financial strain on my family and to gain independence, I started working part-time at a ramen restaurant near my dormitory as soon as I arrived in Japan as a research student. Research students are essentially those who are preparing to take the entrance exam for graduate school but are not yet officially enrolled. I often worked late shifts, sometimes until closing time, and this experience taught me the value of money and how challenging it is to earn. As a result, I developed frugal habits and became mindful of my spending. I didn’t hesitate to accept secondhand furniture from senior students or to find ways to cut unnecessary costs. At the same time, I dedicated every spare moment to studying for the entrance exam, determined to pass as quickly as possible.
Looking back, I’m not trying to boast about my hard work or sacrifice. Rather, I want to highlight how different our circumstances were and how unlikely it seemed at first that we would become close friends. What brought us together was a mutual connection with a Japanese person. At that time, we were both in China pursuing our bachelor’s degrees, and the Japanese person who introduced us to each other was an exchange student at our university. My friend invited this Japanese person to travel to another city within China, but since her Japanese skills weren’t strong enough to handle daily conversations, I was invited along to help with communication and make the trip smoother and more enjoyable. That trip was the beginning of a friendship that has endured over a decade.
Initially, I thought our friendship might not last long due to the vast differences in our financial situations and life experiences. However, over the years, we’ve learned to complement each other in ways that have strengthened our bond. She brought a sense of refinement and aesthetic awareness into my life. For instance, she introduced me to stylish and high-profile clothing shops, helping me develop a better sense of fashion and beauty. Thanks to her, I had the opportunity to visit designer boutiques by renowned fashion icons and attend famous art exhibitions—experiences that broadened my perspective and helped me appreciate beauty in its many forms. I, on the other hand, brought practicality and resourcefulness into her life, helping her navigate everyday challenges and offering a different outlook.
One vivid memory I have is of her helping me choose outfits. I’ve always struggled with selecting clothes that suit me, often leaving stores empty-handed when I couldn’t decide on colors or styles. She, however, could make quick and confident decisions for me, encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone. While I avoided luxury products due to their high prices, she embraced them without hesitation, teaching me that it’s okay to occasionally indulge in things that bring joy and inspiration.
Eventually, she was unable to pass the entrance exam for her ideal university and returned to China. Although our lives took separate directions, we’ve made an effort to stay in touch. We don’t communicate as frequently as we used to, but whenever one of us visits the other’s city, we always make plans to meet up. Yesterday was one such occasion. We met as usual, and she shared some incredible news—this would be her last solo trip because she’s getting married. I was overjoyed to hear this and felt genuinely happy for her. We spent hours catching up, talking about our lives, and sharing updates about the people closest to us. The warmth and familiarity of our conversation brought back memories of the good old days from a decade ago.
Even though the stages of life we’re in, the people around us, our social roles, and our careers have all changed, the core values we hold, the atmosphere we create together, and the profound feelings we share have remained constant. In that moment, I felt like I was the same person I had been ten years ago, sitting with a friend who truly understands me.
Our friendship has taught me that meaningful connections can transcend differences in circumstances, lifestyles, and backgrounds. It’s not the frequency of communication or the similarities in our lives that matter, but the depth of understanding, mutual respect, and shared memories that keep our bond alive. Relationships like this are rare and precious, and I’m grateful to have experienced one that has stood the test of time.